A Safety Message From Your USPS Letter Carrier Part 2

Prime

Prime's image is rife with apt political commentary that could probably be applied to every presedential administration ever. Unfortunately, such political commentary has nothing to do with the USPS, which makes the entire image awkward and unseemly. The technical achievement of this image is also awkward. I must assume the source of light in this image is between Rice and Bush because their shadows fall away from each other. However, Bush's hat does not cast a shadow, which may be because it's actually a ghost, as are all of the clothes Bush is wearing as well as his hands and his bag. The copy and paste job for our political figures could also use a little touching up. So here's a little hint for all of Prime's future attempts at image-editing. Try to use you brain, hands and eyes in conjunction with one another.

RobattoJesus

I've puzzled over "Car theft mailman", but like many funniest home videos featuring terrible accidents visited on people, I remain unable to decipher its hidden meanings. Unlike those videos, however, I'm not laughing now. RobattoJesus is one of those artists who we'll never understand in his life time. I'm not sure whether we will appreciate him more after his death, but I'm willing to find out.

Sforzando66

At first it may seem that Sforzando66's attempt at a joke is that this poor postal worker has seen a monster and lost his bowel control. However, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he decided to draw a paralel between the content and the quality of the picture. Just like the man shat all over his pants, Sforzando66 shat all over this image. Aside from the featured monster clearly not fitting in due to his horrible pixelation and color, we can also see that Sforzando66's attempt to remove the grey box of the original picture has left a puzzling dark bar that extends from the middle of the USPS man's back to slightly below his stain. Standard ellipses have three periods, but he's decided to go all out and put ten periods in his. I can overlook these errors when I see that he decided to remove the package-filled bag from the picture and in doing so completely got rid of the delivery man's hand. It's made clear by the USPS logo at the top of the page that this man is indeed still a delivery person, so there is no percievable reason that his bag would be gone. Beyond all else, the sealing error that convinces me this image was created without a second glance is at the bottom of the page, just below "www.somethingawful.com". Part of the outline of the image has been removed. I don't know how such a feat could be achieved on accident, as it's nowhere near any of the parts of the picture that were edited. I understand that some people just aren't very good at coming up with comedic concepts and that they make up for this with talent. Sforzando66 is not one of those people.

timrenzi573

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, I present you with our main attraction. We've got cussing! An overweight Dee Snider lookalike! And female innuendo! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the only thing more monstrous than this hideous work of art, this sorry attempt at humor, this gag relying on a low-quality, obstructed view of an obese woman, is the freak of nature selected to create this work! timrenzi573, ladies and gentlemen! Living proof that Yo Mama jokes don't translate well to JPEG, especially when it's Yo Wife and there's no joke per se.

WOW. The readers are angry! ANGRY AT POORLY DONE PHOTOSHOPS! I think I better up the quality control on the Goldmines, lest the public come after me for torturing them so horribly with sub par image manipulation.

Thanks again to all the folks that wrote in, I appreciate your help.

– Ryan "OMGWTFBBQ" Adams