CharlestonJew
The Cask of Amontillado : After insulting a woman on social media, her wealthy brother uses his power and influence to get the man blocked from every social media outlet available one by one. The man's last post is "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MONTESSOR 
" on a Neopets fan forum before he is silenced forever
Smash it Smash hit
FRANKENSTEIN: A stem cell research assistant creates a crude lewd dude that somehow ends up on the republican ticket
Blurry Gray Thing
A Confederacy of Dunces:
Ignacius J. Reilly owns a computer and is a prominent member of several online communities. His forum posts are now inter-spaced throughout the book. His avatar image is an "ironic" anthropomorphic golden retriever, cropped from hardcore furry porn.
Everything else is the same.
Doctor J Off
The Unvanquished
A group of ISIS militants tries to hold off the armies seeking to take over the territories they hold. ISIS is in trouble when one young man reconsiders a life of violence and war, and goes unarmed to meet the Americans. He is immediately shot to death a hundred feet away from the gates of their compound as soon as he is seen.
CharlestonJew
How to Make Friends and Influence People : A list of top 10 ways to get people to like you (You won't BELIEVE #6!)
Sandwolf
The Road: A 20-something nihilist drudges through life fighting apathy and ennui to live a middling life while struggling against the belief the world is gonna end "like in the next 30 years."
gimme the GOD DAMN candy
My Antonia
man spends years being nice to a girl only for her to end up happily married to another guy without ever giving him so much as a blowjob.
Analytic Engine
1984
A gif of a boot stamping on a human face, perfectly looped
guidoanselmi
A Modest Proposal: A reasonable argument advocating for the consumption of Mexicans and other immigrants as a means to control immigration and provide low cost meat for un- and underemployed millennials.
bag em and tag em
THE TRIAL- a promising young college student makes love to a passed out girl behind a dumpster. Before he knows it he's embroiled in a bizarre trial for no reason and no one can explain to him what he's done wrong.
La Brea Carpet
Stranger in a Strange Land An autistic man develops an app to discuss the nature of God with other like minded individuals. It becomes a hook up app named Grok.
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This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.