The Devil's Genie!

paranoid randroid

I wish for ten million dollars*

*_{Ten million dollars, henceforth known as MONETARY WISH-AWARD to be paid in discreet monthly sums, where "discreet" is defined as "substantive yet within the bounds of common sense and law, as it pertains to [CURRENT MUNICIPALITY]." Monetary wish-award is to be accompanied by verifiable documentation, for tax purposes. Source of monetary wish-award may not be from one of the following sources - fraud or any illegal activity, human catastrophe, loss of significant personal acquaintance or family, international incident, collapse of society, critical injury to any parties involved in the monetary wish-award agreement, death of any of the parties involved in the monetary wish-award agreement, or any other negative happenstances. Recipient of wish-award is additionally exempt from statistical tendencies towards suicide or self-harm demonstrated by other recipients of large cash awards.}

The undersigned genie acknowledges the above terms and recognizes that any violation of the above terms will result in refunding the wish with no expectation of compensation.

Amateur Saboteur

Splatmaster

I wish everyone's horoscopes would come true in the most comical way possible, given there's a ton of them for every sign in every publication in print an online

Smash it Smash hit

nullEntityRNG

I wish the ability to re-roll outcomes.

Amateur Saboteur

Hot Dog Day #91

I wish I were able to feel emotion.

Smash it Smash hit