Cool things to say when you're opening the door for someone

Tsinava

i open the door fo rthem and then grunt and fart as loud as possible as they're walking in while staring at them in the eyes

WetNightmare

"dont go in there"

Dont Bully Me!

and while you do this wave your hand in front of your nose

PurdWerfect

"let me know if the shooter's still in there"

Pulp Can Move

If it's a door that needs to be pulled, make a big deal of trying to push it open.

Them: I think you have to pull it.
You: I know how to open a door, thanks!

Try to push it a couple more times, then step back and let them open it.

RavenousScoot

open it, put vaseline on the doorknob, and let it close before they can get in

True And Real

"This doesn't mean I like you." I say, removing my knight's helm.

dogcrash truther

Good advice: dress for the door you want (drawbridge) instead of the door you have (screen door)

Dont bully me!

hold your hand out and cough suggesting-ly, awaiting a tip

WetNightmare

"if you walk out that door, you're never going to see me in your life again. ever."