Qwerinty

cereal that cries milk when you yell at it

Lil Cunty

bacteria that are frog sized and I can keep one in a terrarium

Lil Cunty

me: oh this, just a common streptococcus ratti. i keep it in here because it can coexist peacefully with my African water frogs. I'm saving up for a protozoa, they're way more interesting but I need a bigger tank and a filter first

Qwerinty

trees that grow upside down and into the earth, so you can live inside the tree in the earth like a little natural bomb shelter, and use the roots growing up into the sky to hang up laundry

TWIST FIST

a dog that flies back like a boomerang when you throw it

Lil Cunty

mice made out of red and green glitter so you can use owl pellets as Christmas ornaments

Ayatollah Hermione

bread with extra gluten that you can smugly eat in front of your annoying friend Connor

Rodatose

raccoon that puts fallen trash cans back upright and tidies up any escaped debris

alnilam

corm

– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful