Genetically modified organisms - the delicious treats we love to eat. Well, that's introduction enough; I'll pass you over to the SA Forum Goons for the remainder. Stay fresh.
Lil Cunty
extra-long grain rice: every grain is like a spaghetti or maybe even longer
seedless pomegranate: self explanatory
a potato/green bean hybrid so my French fries can truly be farm to table
alnilam
a zucchini that's spelled different, like zukeeny
Lil Cunty
strawberry flavored lemons for strawberry lemonade. this one seems so obvious, I feel like science is going to be really embarrassed when it finally catches up to me
meteloides
viruses that fix up your cells and leave little mints on the nuclei
Ayatollah Hermione
a carrot that when you pull it out of the ground it's attached to a series of multicolored flags ending with a pair of boxer shorts
ChairmanMeow
beef tomato plants that you can pick actual steaks and tomatoes off
Lil Cunty
very very tiny bananas with very very tiny peels
for tripping beetles
alnilam
weet: wheat that gets you high like weed (marijuana) does 
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.
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