100% REAL: LEAKED STAR WARS EPISODE 3 SCREENPLAY

INT - JEDI COUNCIL CHAMBER

Anakin stands inside a circle of powerful and weird looking

Jedi. Some of them are really weird looking and have things

protruding from their heads. Yoda and the black guy are there

and they look stern. Obie Wan has his hand on Anakin's shoulder.



				YODA

	Anakin, you have disappointed us you have.



				ANAKIN

	I feel no need to defend my actions to you, greenie.



				YODA

	Excuse me, you must. Call me Greenie, did you?



				ANAKIN

	That's right, you're a greenie. You're green as a tree!



				YODA

	Hardly think I am green do I. Skin colored am I.



				OBIE WAN

	Master Yoda, I am afraid the boy is right. You are green.



				YODA

	Impossible this is. Black man Jedi, a mirror you will get

	for me you will.



				BLACK MAN

	Here is your mirror, master Yoda.



The black Jedi hands a looking glass to Yoda who contemplates it 

sternly.



				YODA

	Many things I am... but green I am not.



				ANAKIN

	YES YOU ARE GREEN! YOU ARE AS GREEN AS AN AVACADO!



				OBIE WAN

	This is hardly a concern to us now. Yoda, you are green.

	Now tell the boy what you have decided.



				YODA

	But I... Anakin, you are hereby kicked out of the Jedi

	you are. No longer will you practice the force you will.



				ANAKIN

	I don't have to do what you say! I am a man now! I got a

	girl pregnant even, but Obie Wan stole my baby and now

	he won't tell me where it is! Is that right? No!



				YODA

	Really steal his baby did you?



				OBIE WAN

	The baby was given to me, and I took it to a safe place

	where Anakin will never think to go because he's been

	there several times already.



				ANAKIN

	He even named my baby without asking me.



				OBIE WAN

	I could tell its name just by looking at it. This is the

	way of the force.



				YODA

	Name it Luke, did he?



				ANAKIN

	That's right... how did you know?



				YODA

	He names everything Luke he does. Even his dog named Luke

	it is.



				OBIE WAN

	Well it's a good name is all. Now let's get back to the 

	point. We're kicking Anakin out of the Jedi.



				YODA

	Anakin, right he is. Now give me your midichlorians you

	will.



				ANAKIN

	But I thought they were in my blood? That's what Queegon

	said.



				OBIE WAN

	Queegon was an idiot. They're in your teeth.



				YODA

	Take the boy's teeth we must.



				ANAKIN

	No! You're not getting my teeth! You'll have to go through

	my mustache first!



Anakin spins around and punches Obie Wan in the face! He pulls the

black guy's lightsaber off of his belt with The Force and turns it 

on and runs out of the room. Obie Wan gets up, dumbfounded.



				YODA

	Go! You must capture him you will!



				OBIE WAN

	But he could be anywhere by now!



Anakin leans back in the door



				ANAKIN

	(Shouts) Hey Obie Wan, Luke is a really queer name, when

	I find him I'm going to call him Chappie!