EXT – DOOKU’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT

Obie Wan’s Jedi Starship touches down in front of Doku’s Fortress. Anakin leaps
out, clearly enraged. DARTH CARNAGE walks from the shadows to greet him.

DARTH CARNAGE
The young prodigy has arrived. Doku will be pleased
To see you, Vader.

ANAKIN
Save your flattery for someone that it works on, Darth
Carnage. Since I am the new Darth, you are nothing more
than a third wheel.

DARTH CARNAGE
We shall see, Jedi. You have not yet proved yourself.

ANAKIN
Show me to Dooku.

DARTH CARNAGE
As you wish.

INT – DOOKU’S HIDEOUT

Anakin enters. He hesitates, then bows to DOOKU. DOOKU rises from his black throne
and walks slowly toward Anakin.

DOOKU
Darth Vader. I can already sense that Palpatine was
wise to recruit you. I can feel your Force Power.

ANAKIN
Although many years have passed, Dooku, I have not
forgotten what you did to me. Now you are old and
feeble and tired.

DOOKU
Why do you speak this way, apprentice? Surely you can
see that taking your arm was a necessary part of
feeding your hatred.

ANAKIN
And now I will take advantage of this hatred, to revenge
myself upon you.
(Anakin draws his lightsaber)

DOOKU
I guess that’s fair enough, young Vader.

Anakin whirls and twirls with his lightsaber. Dooku blocks his blows, but he is
obviously outmatched. Anakin chops off his arm. Dooku is shocked!

DOOKU
I didn’t think you’d really do it, Vader. You are
truly a fool, Vader. Darth Carnage shall tear you to
pieces for this!

ANAKIN
I would not count on that.

Darth Carnage steps out from the shadows. Has he been there the whole time!?

DARTH CARNAGE
I serve a new master now.

ANAKIN
We are going to kill him now, right?

DARTH CARNAGE
I thought that we were going to.

Darth Carnage slowly extends the blade of his Dark-Saber. Anakin and Darth Carnage
descend upon him with fury. We see Dooku makes a terrified and pleading face in a
close-up and then the scene ends.

INT – YODA’S MEDITATION ROOM – NIGHT

YODA hovers with a troubled look on his face. His eyes are closed really tight with
the strain of thinking and sensing things. The PINK JEDI WITH THE TALL HEAD sits
beside him, concentrating similarly. Yoda opens his eyes.

YODA
I sense that a new Darth has risen he has.

PINK JEDI
What can we do? Is there hope?

YODA
Shhh. There may yet be hope there may be. Prepare
the Yoda Pool we must.

PINK JEDI
This development is troubling for the Jedi.

EXT – ANAKIN’S ESTATE – DAY

The BLACK GUY touches down in a large Jedi Spaceship on Anakin’s lawn. OBIE WAN
runs toward the ship, and Artoo and Threepio amble along behind him.

OBIE WAN
Thank you for picking me up. I fear that I don’t
know where Anakin might be.

BLACK GUY
The Jedi spotted him on Coruscant recently, but
it is clear that he was there only for a brief time.

OBIE WAN
Do we know who he visited or what he did?

BLACK GUY
He did not go and see Yoda, which I think was
intentional. Yoda was hurt by this, as you might
imagine.

OBIE WAN
I see. Where did he go then?

BLACK GUY
He may have gone to see Palpatine, the new Emperor
of the Republic.

OBIE WAN
Palpatine is a good man and a wise ruler; perhaps
he talked some sense into him. Come on, let’s get
out of here, we will talk on the ship.

They get into the ship, along with Artoo and Threepio, and leave into space.
More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful