EXT – DEGOBAH – DAY
HAN SOLO sits idly under a knotty tree in the swamp. He is casually throwing sticks
for CHEWBACCA who bounds after them, tongue lolling out and tail wagging.
HAN SOLO
I sure hope that Jedi remembers to come back and get
us. He was supposed to be here hours ago!
Chewbacca, with a stick in his mouth, looks at Han Solo quizzically and wags his
tail. He drops the stick at Han Solo’s feet.
HAN SOLO
I know I shouldn’t be bothering you with my worries.
You have no conception as to what’s going on in this
damn galaxy, do you boy?
CHEWBACCA
Woof!
HAN SOLO
(picks up the stick)
Atta boy. Let’s keep ourselves amused until that Jedi
decides to come back here and get us, okay?
Han Solo throws the stick, and Chewbacca bounds after it. Halfway to his
destination, Chewbacca’s back legs give in beneath him and he falls to the ground,
squealing. Han Solo jumps up and runs over to check on him.
HAN SOLO
What’s the matter, buddy? Oh my goodness... you’re
molting again.
We see a series of montage shots of Han Solo being caring and motherly. He brings
Chewbacca water and bits of rubbish to eat. He pets him. Intercut with his montage
are special effects shots- Chewbacca’s muscles develop. His paws turn to crude
hands. From behind, we see him stand upright.
HAN SOLO
You’re growing up so fast, buddy. I can’t believe it.
Three years old and you’re already an Ewok!
CHEWBACCA
Chippy chirpy!
HAN SOLO
I’d better enjoy these days while you’re still little
enough to cuddle, Chewy. Before I know it you’ll be a
Wookie and then it’ll be all business.
Han Solo tenderly hugs Chewbacca. A tear rolls down his cheek as Chewy purrs and
trills contentedly.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.
Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful