INT – JEDI COUNCIL – DAY
PADME and OBIE WAN stand in the middle of the circle of Jedis. They are the same
weird aliens as before. YODA and the BLACK GUY sit next to each other, their faces
stern with contemplation. Padme has her newer child in her arms, swaddled in white
robes.
YODA
This child, Padme. Anakin does not know of it
he does?
PADME
As far as I know, he is unaware.
YODA
Good, this is. For now this way we shall keep it
we will.
OBIE WAN
That is what we thought as well. Master... I have
other disturbing news about Anakin.
YODA
SILENCE! Tell me this news.
OBIE WAN
He called himself Darth Vader when he saw his
child. He said that it was his new name.
BLACK JEDI
Why did you not tell us of this sooner, Obie Wan?
This might turn out to be somehow important.
OBIE WAN
I did not want you to hastily condemn him because
of his new name, or anything. He is still my best
friend.
YODA
Foolish you are. Darth is the name of the Siths,
who as you know are like the Jedis but bad, they
are. And I thought that I was your best friend.
OBIE WAN
Oh... Master Yoda, you certainly are. I only
meant that it should go without saying. But do
you think that Anakin is truly a Sith?
PADME
He had evil in his eyes when he tried to take
the baby. I once loved him but now I love him and
fear him, which is complicated.
(Padme’s face strains; it is complicated)
BLACK GUY
Obie Wan, we have been monitoring Anakin through
Artoo’s eyes since last we met with him. He is back
at his estate on Naboo. His behavior has been erratic.
I suggest that we find a way to draw him out.
YODA
This was going to have been my suggestion have
been.
The Jedis, Anakin, Padme, Yoda, and the Black Jedi all exchange serious and worried
glances with each other.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.
Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful