I Ate A Luna Bar And My Dick Fell Off!

AwfulVision Presents: Retarded Right-wing Rodeo Roundup!

Here are some stupid videos by people who are literally terrified of gay people, cry "won't someone think of the innocent children?!" when a 13 year old gets raped and knocked up by her meth addict dad and hate the idea of the government spending money on anything unless it's more bombs to blow up brown people in a country 90% of them probably couldn't find on an unlabeled map.

But that's okay, because remember when you left-wing loonies made fun of Bush for choking on a pretzel , said he resembled a chimp and protested the Iraq war for like 2 weeks? Heh. Guess you can really dish it out but can't take it when we call your president a Marxist Kenyan nigger who should literally be shot in the fucking head. Owned much, Libtards?

Ah yes, "Ratings Disabled" and "Adding Comments Disabled". The one-two punch of any proud conservative warrior.

Heh, you libtards missing Bush yet? Everyone knows the economy sucks. Did you also happen to notice that we happen to have a DemoCRAP president? Who cares if the economy started sucking like 5 months before he took office and that maybe it's starting to pick up a bit. That is liberal claptrap. *disables comments and ratings* Ah, there we go. My worldview feels much better.

"Drat that Kenyan nigger!"

-Dr. Robotnik

This man is able to spend hours and hours making stupid YouTube videos about how much he hates radical liberal politics instead of working 14 hour shifts in a coal mine for 10 cents a day because of radical liberal policies.

Irony, thy name is "internet".

Hear ye, hear ye! Join the Second American Revolution! Remember how we were mad about taxation without representation last time? Well, this time we're mad about taxation WITH representation! And niggers. And Acorn. *throws some Lipton Decaf into a park fountain*

Dear President Obama,

Please stop being a socialist, you are making George Washington cry by allegedly adhering to a school of economic thought that came about nearly 3/4 of a century after his death. Also, Thomas Jefferson would want tax breaks for Halliburton and mandatory private arbitration for sexual assault victims. Trust me on this, I am dressed in period garb.

Signed,

A dude cosplaying as Benjamin Franklin or something

P.S. WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE

My homeboy and AwfulVision contributor Adam K. summarizes this video better than I'd ever be able to:

"A video taken by one of the participants in the march held by Glenn Beck (yes, that Glenn Beck). See how many redneck republican neocon cliches you can catch. In just the first 10 seconds I see:

1. "USA! USA!"
2. "ACORN!!!!!"
3. "I hate unions!"
4. Reveling in that filthy liberal Kennedy's death
5. Comparing Obama to Hitler
6. Completely vanilla crowd
7. Almost entirely old people
8. Many of whom have a huge gut
9. And they dragged their kids with them so they could indoctrinate them with their political beliefs
10. Able to afford fancy cars, yet still bitching
11. The obligatory flags

GOLD! PURE GOLD!!"

Dear Jesus, you owe me a favor so how about burning this fat, gay country to the ground, salting every square inch of dirt and then sinking it in the sea for good measure. Thanks, bro. See you at the kegger this Friday!