Under construction since 1868!

Antiworld - Deadtime Stories

Submitted by Steven Virgin

Name: GRANNY FIENDISH
Age: 47
Role In Band: Vocals/official band chauffeur ('97 minivan with side airbags and child protection locks)
Blood Type: O Negative
Day Job: Substitute Teacher (English and Social Studies)
Likes: My perpetual mid-life crisis which lead me to joining this sham of a band with members who are younger than my own children.
Dislikes: Souxsie Sioux (that cunt stole my fucking gimmick!)
Favorite Bands: Grand Funk Railroad (before they became conformist sell-out pigs)

Name: RAVENSCRAFT
Age: Oi! Fuck off, wanker!
Role In Band: Th' fookin' guitar, innit?
Blood Type: *pumps fist, sneers*
Hobbies: Getting right pissed and having a bit of a laugh with me mates.
Likes: Your mobile, mate.
Dislikes: Pakis, Chavs, Cambridge Utd F.
Favorite Bands: *smashes you across the jaw with a bottle and steals your mobile*

Name: FORTY FIVE FRANK
Age: *pulls imaginary abacus out of pocket and pretends to add*
Role In Band: *plays a jaunty tune on a variety of imaginary instruments*
Blood Type: *pretends to draw his own blood and examine it with an imaginary magnifying glass, shrugs, honks imaginary horn*
Favorite Sport: *rides a pretend bicycle; rings bell at passing tourists; waves*
Likes: *pulls out an imaginary rope, lassos you with it and pretends to reel you in*
Dislikes: *becomes trapped in an ever shrinking cube*
Favorite Bands: *pretends to shoot rubber bands at you*

Name: TOMBSTONE TONY
Age: Nearly 1/3 his BMI
Role in Band: Drummer/providing only slightly better rhythm than his grossly over-worked heart
Blood Type: Cake
Origin of Nickname: My two favorite brands of frozen pizza, together at last!
Likes: Cake
Dislikes: Diabetic shock, foot amputation, but most of all HAVING TO TAKE MY FARKIN' INSULIN!
Favorite Band: Cake

Critics Corner

I was going to do a Critics Corner for this but the only commenting going on in this video is a bunch of dorkwads arguing over what to call "bands that play punk and dress like ghosts/zombies/vampires while singing about ghosts/zombies/vampires", so fuck it. Is it deathrock? Is it horrorpunk? WHOOOOOOO CARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRESSSSSSSS