Brunyi Kurputaya Akan Akan

Brunyi Kurputaya Akan Akan (1983)

• Director Yadigar Yadigar, convinced that the film could be a hit in America, tailored almost every aspect of the film's style and plot to his perception of an American audience. Unfortunately, Yadigar could never ship the film to America; he was forever banned from the Turkish postal system for attempting to mail his soul to a majestic heron.
• No women appear in the film's cast. Budgetary concerns did not allow producers to pay the substantial dowries required to buy women into prostitution, and Turkish law prohibits any woman of appreciable virtue from appearing in a motion picture.
• American actors Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau were procured by Yadigar Yadigar while they were en route to a vacation in Bulgaria; they appeared in the film under the carefully tailored misconception that they were being held hostage by international terrorists.
• The martial art practiced by the "ninjas" is a composite of Kung Fu and the Turkish national sport of Yal1 Gqre_, in which victory is achieved only when one fighter inserts two fingers into the anus of his opponent.
• A scene in which Don Man Mankind chops off Dromedarius's arm with a scimitar was removed after the Turkish board of censors ruled that it would reinforce the stereotype of Turks as bloodthirsty. Unfortunately, propmasters failed to keep Sami Hainses' arm on ice, and it could not be reattached despite the decision.
• Although it is unclear whether the filmmakers were attempting metaphor or whether they simply misperceived American culture, the film depicts most "drugs" as small children, painted gold and sealed in glass coffins.
• The sixteen-minute training montage, in which a stone-faced Don Man Mankind grimaces while Horce beats him about the chest and back with a long wooden pole, is reused in Yadigar Yadigar's later efforts Krob Tangali (1984), Banuyhir Police Hamburger (1984), and Goose Shit Dakban (1984).
• Cüneyt Arkin was reportedly disappointed with the final cut of this film, primarily due to Turkish folk wisdom which holds that a truly virile man will be invisible on film.
• The scenes which purport to take place in Miami Beach were actually filmed on the stark, rocky shores of the Besika Bay. Close observers may note that, in the background of the drug handoff sequence, a flightless cormorant battles a marine iguana for a tattered human foot.
• The film curiously predicts the plot of Lethal Weapon (1987) in that its main character is a suicidal cop; Brunyi Kurputaya Akan Akan differs in that its main character succeeds repeatedly in taking his own life.
• Production ceased for a month while Cüneyt Arkin mourned the death of his tallest son, who was torn apart by harpies in Turkey's perilous mountains.
• It is estimated that there is enough mustache present in Brunyi Kurputaya Akan Akan to circle the sun three times if laid end on end.
• Limited resources forced creative measures to be taken during the car chase scene; the chase was shot in sequence using only one car, and both the criminals and their pursuers were sitting side-by-side in it.
• Director trademark: Character levitating a boulder with his mind.
• Much of the film's comic relief issues from the pairing of the straight-laced Don Man Mankind with the sloppy Horce, and from Yadigar Yadigar's apparent misapprehension that American police partners are required to wear matching clothes, renounce women, and sleep in the same bed.
• The production was plagued by Yadigar Yadigar's magical scimitar, which would occasionally become animated and devour all of the lentils and lamb eyes at the craft service table.
• In order to make Space Death look more evil, makeup artists applied a coat of purple lipstick to the authentic festering, gangrenous mormal on Hulusi Kentmen's forehead. The waxy lipstick, made from beef tallow, attracted thick swarms of gnats and flies who so incessantly pestered and bit Kentmen that he threw himself off of a tall building to end his torment. The fall succeeded only in shattering both his legs; Yadigar Yadigar took this as carte blanche to use Kentmen, already grievously injured, in any stunts deemed too dangerous to be undertaken by actors whose survival was required. Years later, a fully recovered Kentmen made national headlines by sneaking into Yadigar Yadigar's house and inserting two fingers into his anus, thereby attaining honorary vengeance for all past transgressions.

• Despite concerns about continuity errors, several scenes, primarily of dialogue between Detective Mankind and the police chief, were shot outside of the ancient wonder Petra by order of Turkey's new board of tourism. To account for the discrepancy, the chief explains, "I've got this great new office! Don't you love it?"
• In the scene where Horce confronts Don about his reckless behavior in the bazaar, an illusory figure is seen trailing the two between the vendors. It's speculated that this might've been a djinn, although officially it was reported as the dark spirit of a vagabond.
• After several takes of the movie's pivotal action scene where the entire gang is disgracefully beaten in hand to hand combat by Don, it was revealed to an exhausted crew that the film reel had been replaced with the outer layer of Slim Jims discarded by Walter Matthau after a particularly snack-intensive day on the set.
• It was said that Cüneyt Arkin on-set behavior, including his demands for constant powdering, led one of the hired hands, only 12 years old, to commit suicide just outside of the hotel in which the crew was lodged. Arkin maintains that boy was not assigned to him, but in fact was "a grim specter that had haunted the village for centuries."
• Hulusi Kentmen's character Space Death was originally going to be called Star Killer, but thanks to extensive research by the promotions team, it was determined that this was already a piece of trivia assigned to Star Wars hero Luke Skywalker.
• At the time of filming, office furniture was difficult to obtain, so the crew built desks and chairs from the shattered corpses of sheep stolen from a local farm. No part went unused by the master craftsmen they'd hired, and word of the miraculous furniture spread until the shepherd realized the culprits of the theft. Completely stripped of his livelihood, he sued, but received only the used furniture in return, as the judge declared it a national treasure and "probably worth far more than those sheep ever were."
• Yildirim Gencer's role as the Angry Can was originally a bit part, but due to directorial nepotism and a minor budget surplus he was in almost every scene. He is difficult to see in most, as he was put out of focus near the back of the set. Regardless, he took his role seriously, gyrating inside of a trashcan and yelling at passersby.
• During a scene where the drug lord Lemmo tests Don with cocaine, Yadigar substituted powdered sugar for the drug. Cüneyt Arkin didn't realize and inhaled nearly a gram of the sugar before coughing a disgusting white paste onto Mehmet Ugur. The paste was stolen by a local and later auctioned for 25 U.S. dollars.
• While praying between scenes, Baykal Kent was approached by an angelic messenger with an offer of eternal life if he discontinued his work in the movie. Taken aback at the affront to his livelihood, Kent struck the angel with his fist and his arm was turned to stone. This impairment didn't stop him from continuing his work on the movie; Cüneyt Arkin felt his role as sidekick improved due to his disability, making him a "lesser man, more fitting for the role as my subordinate."
• On the 5th day, the angel returned with a dire message, speaking to the entire crew while they were filming a chase scene in the countryside. "End this now, or be swept into hell!" Yadigar, overcome by the intensity of the scene, edited the video and recontextualized it so the angel and Don tell the drug lord to end his terrible reign. This would have been impossible except for Yadigar's generous contribution of his virgin daughter to sanctify and thereby save the film.
• The poor treatment of Hulusi Kentmen and the appearance of the angel led him to seek the aid of a powerful djinn rumored to be contained within a treasured vase in a gallery in Istanbul. Despite his infirmity, he was able to guide his wheelchair into the building, knock over the vase, and release the genie. It offered him a wish, but the anxious genie became frustrated with his plodding, picked him up, and carried his immobile form over the Dead Sea. Luckily, the djinn was still obligated to grant him a wish, and Kentmen barked out orders to return him to his trailer before he took another fall. He was found there the next day, naked and shivering on the floor.
• Kadir Kok was, before the filming, undefeated at any board game and bound for Guinness Record fame. After losing a game of Parcheesi to Lemmon (arguably the only thing Lemmon did on the set), Kok took a pilgrimage to Gethsemane and questioned God for what he had done. "Why have you forsaken me, in my time of need," he pleaded. "Why was I doomed to fail when before I had only success?" Many people believe this sparked the divine intervention that plagued the filming of Brunyi Kurputaya Akan Akan, although others would claim it was the ninja gang's salute: spitting on a crucifix, saying "fuck," and stomping their feet until they kicked up dust.
• When the movie was released in theaters, several moviegoers fell into fits of confusion and fled into the night. Several mullahs came to see what had become of their congregation, and left convinced something was amiss. Due to their concern, the VHS release had a special "Blessed Edition" which had undergone an intense purification ritual to rid it of its paranormal properties.

– Dr. David Thorpe featuring Rascal (@Arr)