The 13 Burning Serpent Blades of the Ghost Ninja Assassin Warrior's Revenge (1985)Writing credits:
Godfrey Ho
Zhi Jiang He
Leong Fui Fong
Alan Smithee
Al N. Smithee
Tagline: "They thought they could destroy him by their traps and deadly tricks they used to destroy him. Then they destroyed him. But they destroyed him wrong."
Plot Outline: A Chinese ninja warrior agrees to serve his master by completing one last assassination. When he discovers the target is his own daughter, the warrior nobly kills himself so he may return as a ghost and avenge his own death... (more) (view trailer)
User Comments: What the hell is going on in this movie? In the first scene, you see these naked dudes taking a bath in this huge bathhouse. Then it cuts to a school on fire and some guy dressed in black does a flip. Then there's this old guy hiding in a bale of hay who starts talking and the subtitles say "Much pain is thes story of a lives, but lives cannot tell from the dead." What does that even mean? And don't even ask me about the part where the robot falls in love with the alien commander because... (more)
User Rating: 
1.1/10 (8 votes)
| Credited cast: | ||
| Chris Barker | .... | Ghost Ninja Assassin Honorable Palms |
| rest of cast listed alphabetically: | ||
| Ziyu Aho | .... | Powerful Bus Driver |
| De Ming Chang | .... | Vampire Lord (Alien) |
| Li Su Chung | .... | British Minister of Topography |
| Rei Chung | .... | Disgraced Peasant with Chicken |
| Kai Chung | .... | The Dark Explosion |
| Xian Lung | .... | Unfortunate Soldier |
| Sihung Yang | .... | Vampire Lord (Demon) |
| Ming Xiao | .... | Creepy Ninja |
| (more) | ||
Also Known As:
A Fantastic Adventure - Die Legende der Brennenden Hosen (Germany)La Mort Incroyable (France)Hombre Repugnante De la Muerte (Spain)The Peacemaker (Canada)
- The role of "White Ninja" was originally intended to be a parody of post-WWII Japan. Unfortunately, "White Ninja" was dropped from the script and replaced by "Turtle Launcher," played by Yee Kee Po Sham.
- While filming, director Godfrey Ho sustained a minor concussion when the camera fell onto his head during the tightly choreographed laundromat love scene where the Witch and Magenta Agent consummated their marriage.
- Although the film grossed nearly $43,281 in the US, it was widely shunned in China and most of Asia. Director Godfrey Ho claimed this was due to "reverse xenophobia" and his culture's "hesitance to accept a corn-and-egg based superhero."
- When the budget was slashed at the last minute, the crew was unable to afford live turtles for the role of "Turtle Launcher." They had to settle for dead turtles, which they captured from a rare zoo exhibit and ceremonially beat to death with stalactites.
- The character "Enchanted Hairdresser (With a Terrible Secret)" was played by Ho's wife at the time, Amy Douglas. Amy divorced Ho midway through production, and was replaced by stage actor Joseph Lai, who Ho also attempted to marry.
- There were originally 462 different colored ninjas cast for this film, as director Ho had entered a contract with (now defunct) camera manufacturing company Shenzao Haiton Complicated. Shenzao Haiton Complicated promised Ho "a new type of camera, one able to capture 350% more filmable area" by offering "advanced technology," their "Ultraluxe Supertech" camera, which turned out to contain a 580-mm lens weighing 380 pounds. Plans were abandoned when Shenzao Haiton Complicated closed its engineering department and used the space to store yarn.
- Due to a contractual dispute, nearly all footage of "Turtle Launcher" was scrapped. Yee Kee Po Sham claimed the post-production process "brought shame and disgrace" upon his family name, primarily for the scene depicting him battling a 400-foot tall pie tin. The footage was later used in the 1987 Godfrey Ho film, "Bulbous Showdown: Unrelenting Masterpiece of Attacks." (more)
- When Ninja Gary informs the Council of Birch that Emperor Loans has escaped to Atlantis, the Council of Birch shows Ninja Gary a map which they identify as "Atlantis" but actually reads "Irrigation System Layout for Central Iowa Farmland."
- The director's mailbox and a street sign can clearly be seen in the background during the Moon Duel.
- During the battle of Bloody Ridges, Vanilla Ninja and Crimson Ninja each have bandoliers of .30 caliber machine gun rounds. After their smoke bomb explodes, Vanilla Ninja's bandolier is replaced by a rope ladder, and Crimson Ninja's is replaced with holiday wrapping paper.
- The "Supreme Ninja Sword" is actually a poster tube spray painted silver with the words "NIJA" (sic) written across it with charcoal.
- The reflection of the director and filming crew can be seen in the mirror when Brown Ninja fights the Broom Dragon.
- The reflection of a 1981 Toyota Starlet can be seen in the bus window when Ghost Ninja Assassin attacks Powerful Bus Driver.
- In the introduction, the narrator claims the film "takes place in the near future, the year 1983," but the subtitles read "the year 1979." The film was released in 1985.
- The "Chinese Army Leader" can be clearly seen wearing a Polo shirt and digital wristwatch. Director Ho claims this was a "transfer error" when converting the film from Ultraluxe Supertech to 8-mm. (more)
Ninja Academy Headmaster: Your training... it is disgraceful. You have not learned enough to defeat the Steel Cobra!
Ghost Ninja Assassin: I disagree. I am more powerful than you could ever imagine. My fists are like knives. My arms are like swords. My body is like a cannon. My head is like the razor. I am a cruel illusion.
Ninja Academy Headmaster: I guess.Thug #1: Hey! Old woman! Give us your riches!
Thug #2: Yeah lady, or else it's lights out!
Old Woman: I am old... what can you expect of me?
Thug #1: Hiya! Now you've done it!
Orange Ninja: Don't touch that old woman with your hands!
Thugs flee
Old Woman: Thank you for saving me Orange Ninja... but I will get the last laugh!
Old Woman transforms into The Memory Witch
Old Woman: Ha ha!Gary Barker: They are smuggling drugs... inside these urns!
Ghost Ninja Assassin: Is there nothing... these filthy Japanese won't do for some easy cash?
Gary Barker: I will kick many people with my feet... for such a disgrace.
Ghost Ninja Assassin: Let's team up, huh? You and me, we cannot be stopped, not even by the dreaded Turtle Launcher!Emperor Nobuo: The noble Chinese warrior... Ghost Ninja Assassin... he has detected our plan!
Royal Court Servant Lackey: How could we have underestimated the Chinese? Truly... our ignorance may prove our downfall.
Emperor Nobuo: Silence! I shall underestimate him no longer. Servant... dispatch three soldiers to kill this... "Ghost Ninja."
Royal Court Servant Lackey: Yes your highness. They... shall be equipped with the finest wooden staffs of the land.Mall Security Guard #1: Hey! What are you doing here! This is Japanese storefront! You cannot be... trespassing here!
Gary Barker: Your mind is crushing under my powers.
Mall Security Guard #1: Aaaah! My mind!Alien Commander: While the Japanese try to destroy the mighty Chinese warrior... we are ready to conquer all of the Earth! And Asia.
Alien Robot: Beep beep this strategy has a 100% success probability beep beep.
Alien Commander: Yes robot. Once we invade the Earth with our alien soldiers... I will destroy it with our UFO laser!
Alien Robot: Beep beep but first we must find the Burning Serpent Blade beep beep.
Alien Commander: Yes, our UFO laser... can only be powered by the Burning Serpent Blade!Alien Commander: Ghost Ninja Assassin! How did you board my spacecraft?
Ghost Ninja Assassin kicks Alien Commander through a window.
Alien Commander: I cannot breathe... here in space! Aaaaah.
Alien Robot: Beep beep perhaps we have underestimated the raw power and intelligence of the Chinese beep beep.
 | i dont understand this movie |
by aceholdem (Wed Jan 11 2005 16:24:29) was it supposed to be an analogy or something because I dont get it what do u think the movie was trying 2 say somthing about chinese relations or imperialism or something |
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| Re: i dont understand this movie |
by BIGBOSSGOKU (Fri Feb 21 2006 11:35:02) faggot |
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