Starburst Mirror (Thanks, Spaceboss!)

From: jeff bouns [mailto:jeffoffice3@gmail.com]
Sent: Sunday, February 21, 2010 8:36 AM
To: garbageday@somethingawful.com
Subject: mirror

Hello,
Am Jeff Bouns and i will like to know if you offer mirrors in stock?I want
5mm thickness 50x50 unframed mirrors with polish edge.Do you carry that
and what price and your methods of payment?Thanks and i look foreword to
hear from you soon..

Best Regards.
Jeff Bouns

Dear Jeff Bouns,
Unfortunately Something Awful does not currently stock the exact model you requested. (We're all out of polish edge.) However, submitter Spaceboss has brought my attention to the Starburst Mirror, and I hope it can meet all your reflective needs! The Starburst Mirror might or might not boast 5mm thickness, but it definitely does the following:

• "...make your room looks shining and sparkling."
• "...make your room looks bigger in terms of illusion optics."
• "They are representing luxuriousness and classy image."
• "These mirrors are the best tool that built confidence for their owner."

Visit the site mentioned in this message, and you'll be on your way to a classier, more confident life! As for price and method of payment, well, they're not actually selling them. These guys just wanted people to know that Starburst Mirrors rule, and that they can "create lots of convenience for your life," once you've found one: "You can get starburst mirror from many places like home addition stores. However the new way of getting it is through the help of internet."

Best of luck with your search!

I am a mirror,
Garbage Day

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller