Sherry's Heartbeats (Thanks, Gmanicvs!)

There are probably between two and three dozen pages on SherrysHeartbeats, including a "Welcome Page" that's not actually the front page. You'll have to click a link to get to that. On the plus side, clicking a new page means you get a new song about Jesus. And they're not all MIDIs, either. Granted, most of them sound like they were taken from a particularly touching moment in Final Fantasy II, but some of them have lyrics and real instruments and shit!

Anyway, each of the links takes you to a new little tributary in Sherry's stream of consciousness. Sure, a page might have a MIDI of "Put On a Happy Face" and the lyrics, but as you scroll further down, you'll learn some new things about God, be reminded to support our (God-fearing, I'm sure) troops, and meet a particularly flirtatious newborn. (There ain't a baby in the damn world that knows how to wink.)

Apparently each page has its own guestbook, too, which is good, because the index's guestbook is pretty grim; only one entry overall, and that was from 2009. The Happy Face guestbook is a lot more popular, filled with good feelings and solicitations for Bible puzzles not to exceed 25 pieces. Actually, looking at some of these links, Sherry might be a part of a Web ring of older ladies devoted to showing their love for God by posting similarly horrible Web sites.

For a crappy little Homestead site, Sherry's Heartbeats has drawn a decent amount of visitors, according to that great little ticker about 7/8 of the way down the page. Hitting over 19000 is a pretty good mark. Not that I think anyone besides myself and Sherry has made it to the bottom in the 10 years of the site's existence, but, shit, good for her anyway. Of course, Sherry's fans would like the site to get even bigger. Writes one guestbook commenter: "I'm praying that God will send people this way ... God bless, BeeJay." Well, BeeJay, the Lord works in mysterious ways.

– Daryl "Fucking" Hall