/r/rawdenim

Reddit's /r/rawdenim forum brings together jean fiends who are, let's say, a bit obsessive over the rawness of their denim. "Raw" essentially means it's never been washed, which is desirable if you want sick, authentic fades on your jeans. That way, your jeans can "become a physical record and manifestation of the life you've lived in them," as their FAQ explains. It's like scrapbooking, except lazier and more expensive!

Most activity on this subreddit consists of denim heads posting photos of their jeans and bragging about how few washes they've had (i.e. "150+ wears, 1 soak, 2 washes.") They list what designer brands they're wearing in their "flair" (the Reddit equivalent of a forum signature), as if anyone cares.

Don't mistake these folks for mere enthusiasts, though: They are self-described "dorky guys and gals wearing weird special jeans." How dorky, you ask? They have their own extensive jargon. Jean designers are treated like rock stars and often stop by for "AMA" interviews, during which they're grilled on denim minutaie. Regulars seek advice from fellow connoisseurs about finding shirts that might pair well with their jeans, like they're talking about wine. One guy stared at a pair of jeans too hard and began to see secret Christian iconography in the stitching. Another guy did a huge experiment to see how denim reacts to certain chemicals, which is sure to lead to some denim-cleaning breakthroughs.

Oh, you brew your own beer? That's nice. This guy is putting together his own textile factory, just so he can make his own jeans.

The brotherhood of the unsanitary pants occasionally assembles for fun real-life activities like dip dyeing sessions. It's nice that this is such a tight-knit group and that the members enjoy doing stuff together, because outsiders just don't seem to understand the thrill of not doing laundry, and the people who do understand that it's important (at least to you) sometimes use this knowledge for evil ("my mom uses the threat of washing my jeans to get me to do chores and stuff.") They could always woo strangers into their sacred hobby sphere with the allure of free jeans, but this tactic occasionally backfires ("spending $200 on a stranger and having them disappear afterwards frankly, sucks.")

Alas, there comes a time when even the most dedicated denimhead is faced with a dilemma: To wash or not to wash? Opinion seems pretty divided on "snail trails" left by strippers gyrating on your fades. "let the vaginal fluid dry in there and settle. its all about the journey," advises wise sage Oatmeall11.

CarlFromAccounting was unsure what to do with his jeans after a dog vomited on them.

So....I was driving tonight with my dog in my lap when I felt something warm hit the side of my leg. My dog vomited a hairball, bile and all, on my jeans. The smell is bad. It has been 10 months. To wash or not to wash? Otherwise I can freeze them...

(Putting your jeans in the freezer instead of washing them sounds like a crazy urban legend akin to middle school girls wearing sex bracelets, but apparently it's the latest craze sweeping the nation!)

What does it take for the /r/rawdenim community to upvote a radical suggestion like "Wash your jeans, in the machine"?

I was really drunk, passed out and shit my pants. I don't really want to talk about it. But I was wondering if anyone had any advice for how to wash them? They are nudies that were purchased 11 months ago and have never been washed. The damage was not extensive but they do smell pretty bad. Any tips?

I admire his optimism: "Yes, there's fecal material, but it's not extensive. Maybe I can just Febreze it?"

– Adam "rubber cat" Jameson (@robbercat)