You Know You're Multiple When... (Thanks, Genderfluid!)

YKYMW borrows its template from noted humorist Jeff Foxworthy's most influential routine, "Check Your Neck."Remember those dumb Hot Topic T-shirt punchlines about voices in your head, like "THE VOICES IN MY HEAD DON'T LIKE YOU" or "THE VOICES IN MY HEAD TELL ME TO BURN THINGS?" Well, now the concept has been rebranded and fetishized into its own internet subculture. This ain't your grandpappy's multiple personality disorder!

You Know You're Multiple When... is a Tumblr blog on which "multiples" can share really specific in-jokes about their lifestyle. Multiples are people with a Multiple System, which the FAQ describes as a group of people known as "headmates" or "others" (but DEFINITELY NOT "alters," which is very offensive for some reason) sharing the same body, which I'm pretty sure was the premise of Herman's Head. It's like there's a party in your head and everyone's invited! On with the jokes:

# 131 - You Know You're Multiple When...

When you regain control only to see someone sign out of AIM offended by something one of your others said.

Now this is just preaching to the choir. I can't put into words the shame and embarrassment I felt when one of my others posted the {s drop} sound in an AOL chatroom, earning me a sharp rebuke from the moderators. This is my curse...

#54 - You Know You're Multiple When...

you find your hand randomly on your boob and have to give the male headmate a good talking to about what is and isn't appropriate.

Don't you hate it when "you" tries to get down with "yourself?" Why can't "you" learn to respect "yourself" and keep "your" hands off "your" shared body before it escalates into the worst episode of Law & Order: SVU ever?

Having a headmate is a lot like having the "NOT ME" ghostchild from The Family Circus following you around everywhere.# 152 - You Know You're Multiple When...

You're a gay male, buying feminine hygiene products for the female body when you see a cute guy standing at the till, and you have to struggle to hide your embarrassment then blurt out "Its for my girlfriend" and run off, before swearing to self for forgetting body is female.

Ugh... I've heard this exact same joke repeated word-for-word in nearly every chuckle hut and yuk-yuk yurt across this great country. It's the Multiple System equivalent of complaining about airline food. Get some new material, please!

# 190 - You Know You're Multiple When...

When your second goes on a drunken rant at your girlfriend, saying all the things you'd never say, and she thinks it's you.

Hey now, I didn't do those awful things to you, it was one of my headmates! Why should I apologize, just because I happen to be "fronting" this body at this current point in time? Quit crying, if anything I'm the real victim here! Nothing is ever your fault when you've got headmates. When will people just learn to accept that?

– Adam "rubber cat" Jameson (@robbercat)