Kigurumi Cosplay Society (Thanks, A.r.!)

Cosplayers around the world do their best to bring your favorite anime babes to life. The more dedicated among them strive for total accuracy, but no matter how hard they try, they can never achieve anime-goddess perfection. Sorry, ladies, but your eyes just aren't saucer-sized enough and your noses aren't vaguely defined triangles. Luckily, the fine folks at Kigurumi Cosplay Society have bridged the gap between the 2D and 3D realms to create a more authentic form of cosplay.

What's been missing all this time? Unsettling masks, apparently! For just 700-800 Australian dollars (what a steal!), you can buy these masks for your own deviant cosplay purposes and turn your anime dreams into real-life nightmares. Hey, at least it's not dolls, or mannequins, or body pillows. The unfinished masks are even more disturbing. They look like the baby-face masks worn by torturers in Brazil, or perhaps Hannibal Lecter preparing for Anime Expo. Hot stuff!

It's an exciting time in the world of Anime Mask Technology, with new breakthroughs all the time! Kigurumi masks can blink and wink now, with a very naturalistic loud clicking sound that puts Zorak to shame. Just remember to kiss the inside of the mask every few seconds to maintain a naturalistic blinking rhythm, because that is seriously how it works. Isn't this so much easier than just using your own face? Someday, maybe, they might even be able to open their mouths....

Kigurumi Cosplay Society isn't just about masks, though! You'll also need to buy full bodysuits, because your disgusting real skin isn't smooth and flawless like Cutey Honey's. If you want a look at the finished product, watch this video that features a super-authentic albino Asuka waving every three seconds to the utter bafflement of nearby neurotypicals. Anime Reality has been achieved!

– Adam "rubber cat" Jameson (@robbercat)