The Great Horror Campout

Still haven't planned your summer vacation? Consider The Great Horror Campout, where you can pay some guys in Halloween costumes to pretend-torture you in the middle of the woods. Legitimately this time!

Sponsored by the cinematic classics Wrong Turn 6 and Joy Ride 3, The Great Horror Campout offers a "high scare, high startle content experience." Simply browsing the website is a content experience in itself, with generic horror music music that auto-plays and spooky stock images on each page. Wait, what's spooky about an old guy with an axe in a forest? Oh, we're just supposed to assume he's going to murder that family? I'd say the real monster here is prejudice.

Campers can choose from two adventures: VERY EXTREME and less extreme. Beware the bathrooms, which are apparently a "High Startle" area... especially when you see what the wolfman left behind!!!

On The Great Horror Campout's Facebook page, you can preview some of the monsters you might see, such as this ant angel guy (?) and... whatever this is?

Just remember, as the site keeps reminding you, you won't be in any real danger. That said, be sure to follow these important Safety guidelines:

•  "Do not touch Oak Trees." What?
• "Great Horror Campout IS FUR-FREE. We have enough blood and guts at the camp, please don't wear fur." If the Pope Lick Monster sees you wearing a mink coat, he'll put his hands on his hips, sigh dramatically, and go "Really?" all sarcastic-like.
•  "During Great Horror Campout you may be forcibly handled, moved, bound, hooded, chained and subjected to simulated torture by our actors." Simulated torture in the woods, what could go wrong...?

– Adam "rubber cat" Jameson (@robbercat)