Funny Paperz (Thanks, Bettie Crocker!)

I'm officially retracting my "webcomics are the worst" assertion and replacing it with "webcomics are terrible, but freelance editorial cartoons are probably worse." I'd like to be more definitive about that statement, but because the whole deal with Funny Paperz is that you can't see the fucking cartoons unless you want to pay for them, I can't say for sure. Though I have seen a few free samples, because the site's "cartoon laureate and one-man Comi-Con" Joe King (the guy behind the instant classics "101 Uses For Obama's Big Ears" and "101 Uses For a Dead Lawyer") made news by pissing off the LGBTQ community with his tasteful "I'm Not Gay, I'm Just A Sissy" calendar. That, combined with the fact that the site is a member of the "Christian Comic Arts Society," should give you a pretty good idea of what the content's like.

Again, though, "a pretty good idea" is the best I can offer, because I am not going to pay three dollars to see a comic. Nor am I going to pay $25 to see seven comics, because that is an insane ripoff and sort of the opposite of how buying in bulk is supposed to work, but whatever. If the site itself is any indication, they're terribly designed, sometimes incomprehensible, and they will fuck with your mouse pointer, which is a thing a comic can't do but this site does and it is pissing me off. Anyway, Funny Paperz lists a bunch of "as seen in" publications, including Disney Adventures and the prestigious "Alfa Owner" magazine. King's work has apparently appeared in the LA Times as well, probably under the headline "Dumb Comics by Dummy Annoy Nation."

– Daryl "Fucking" Hall