Demon Slayer (Thanks, Lyla!)

Have you experienced any of the following symptoms?

• "Creepy feelings."
• "Very subtle depression."
• "An aversion to prayer."
• "Any kind of phenomena."

If so, you've clearly been possessed by a demon, and thus you must contact the Demon Slayer team immediately. Otherwise, this insidious yet lazy force "can infiltrate your mind, causing you to feel depressed and causing you to think you are worthless so that YOU throw yourself off the building all by yourself! This is truly the way of demons."

The site does exude sober professionalism, with no graphics -- unless some evil entity swept them off the page. (Perhaps this vile monster erased all comments from the blog as well.) The Demon Slayer team doesn't quote its prices, but it hints they might be substantial, given the risks that they undertake: "Seriously -- have you seen the movie The Exorcist?" That quote seems suspiciously goofy, but I suppose "the testimonials page speaks for itself."

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller