Crying Girl (Thanks, Crass!)

Unless you're fluent in Japanese, you won't be able to read anything on the Amuse Soft Entertainment site other than "Crying Girl," but that's all you need to know. The Crying Girl DVD features 11 women "crying in earnest." According to promotional materials and this rockin' guitar-backed video, here are a few scenarios that bring on the heartache:

• "Touching the loneliness of the city."
• "Saw a bad picture of herself in a magazine."
• Being hit in the head by a wallet.

And here are some of the activities they engage in while tearing up:

• Eating some mushy substance out of a bowl with chopsticks.
• Sitting on a couch next to a pillow knitted with the slogan "Life's a Game, But Golf is Serious."
• Curling into a ball, lots of curling into a ball.

InventorSpot reports "men in Japan need to have their 'conquering instinct' stoked up, and the way to do this is by watching women cry." Clearly this would be a perfect gift for the guy in your life, but Crying Girl isn't available until March 26. Maybe you could become Crying Girl by sobbing without explanation. It'll be the best Valentine's Day ever!

Related Note: Cryinggirl.com redirects to Clumsy Congregation, a site devoted to a pretty great band named Uzi & Ari. Here's a video from that page, but it doesn't include any crying -- unless it's taking place underneath fox masks.

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller