Evangelion FanFiction

Evangelion FanFiction, submitted by grzydj. Evangelion is some really popular anime cartoon about some unlikable kid who whines about how badly his life sucks while insanely hot female cartoon ladies dance around him, stopping only to jump into giant robots and do battle with other giant robots. So no surprise, there's a lot of Evangelion fan fiction. But this one is especially terrible because it's written in real-time on IRC, with different "writers" portraying the different characters. Let's check it out!

[Kaji] [eclip5e] yea, someone save this buffer
* Shinji[tEs] one big drop of sweat drops down back of head
[Asuka[EVA]] my place is up for renovation and i figured i might has well be w/ my friend Shinji, isnt that right?
* Asuka[EVA] whispers to Shinji....
[Asuka[EVA]] dont get any funny ideas bub
[Shinji[tEs]] UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH...
[Kaji] heeh, ok.... but isn't that 2 kids under teh same roof... uhh nevermind
[Shinji[tEs]] Funny ideas?
[Asuka[EVA]] yeah, u kno what im talkin about
[Asuka[EVA]] remember that time you kissed me
[Shinji[tEs]] I'd never do anything like that!!
[Shinji[tEs]] You started it!
[Kaji] uhhh hey, im here remember?
* Kaji looks at the two of em'* Kaji looks at the two of em'

Tee-hee! That is funny or entertaining or maybe dramatic! HELP!

Regular IRC is bad enough, IRC with role-playing characters who write improvisational fan fiction at each other is a pain so succinct that reading the entire "story" will cause your eyeballs to roll down your windpipe and into your lungs, eventually causing you to suffocate to death. But not before you've had the chance to regret not heeding my advice: don't visit this site!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)