cRaYoLaPaGe1

cRaYoLaPaGe1, submitted by . This incoherent raver girl's personal site is not only full of the sort of dumb shit you would expect, it has the added bonus of driving you insane with confusing navigation and half-functional pages. On the bright side there is some wunnerful poetry there and it just so happens it can be sung to the beat of that rap Barney did on a Fruity Pebbles commercial:

In My eyes, this is what I see. A strong young girl, named Hillory. She has brown eyes, that twinkle with passion, and when it comes to looks, she's HIP in fashion. She has Long black hair, that sways beneath a breeze, her skin is very fair, and this it what I see. Her talent reaches the top, her hands they bring desire, When a pencil hits that paper, she draws on fire. She talks with such soft voice, and sweet words to make you high. She Smiles with a glow, that will make you want to fly.

Hooray, more Kandy Raver madness! I have to admit, I have River City Ransom on my mind, because I want to get in my car with Alex and drive to whatever hellbeast is giving birth to all these bastards and remove its sex organs. Maybe with Dragon Feet or Stone Hands, maybe just use a chainsaw, I haven't made up my mind yet. After the deed is done I can kick back and relax with a copy of Mystic Seer, enjoying the good vibes as my stats go up. I hate this world.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)