Ballistica Maximus Corp.

Ballistica Maximus Corp., submitted by . For all of you who think the apocalypse is drawing near, and I know there are literally threes of you out there in the SA audience, this site should provide some delightful reinforcing evidence. The Ballistica Maximus Corporation hails itself as the arsenal of democracy, yet somehow almost nothing they offer for sale is available in the United States without some crazy license that I will never have. Why you ask? BECAUSE THEY SELL TANKS, MISSILES AND ASSAULT RIFLES. The hilarious thing is that what I assume - based on their pretty damn respectable inventory - is a multi-million dollar operation, has a half-functional Angelfire website.

Since that time, Ballistica has grown to become a respected participant in World Arms Sales and Humanitarian Aid Supply. Currently with Executive Offices in St. Petersburg, and Conference Center in Tampa, and Sales Offices in New York City, S. Africa, Malta, Port-au-Prince, Haiti, Cypress, Katmandu and London. Our Clients have 24 hour access for questions, quotes, and logistical information. You are invited to inspect our daily Daily Weapons Update Site. This is an updated-daily compendium of currently available Ordnance, Arms, Ammunition and Projectiles.

Hey! If I ever decide to do one of those pathetic wish-lists trying to get you people to buy me stuff you know where I will be doing my dream shopping!

Did I mention that they are selling WARSHIPS on their ANGELFIRE ARMZ DEALAHZ WEBSITE!?! That's right, if you are in a pinch and someone is about to land on your precious beaches, log on to Ballistica Maximus and set yourself up with up to two frigates. Heck, throw in a couple 60 ton hovercrafts while you're at it!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)