WELCOME TO HUG HEAVEN

WELCOME TO HUG HEAVEN, submitted by Mark. - Insane Dungeons and Dragons player wants to hug you. Why? Probably because he's gone nuts from typing in all caps.

HAVE YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO RECEIVE A BLESSING FROM THE GOD OF ALL THINGS HUGGY? THE FOLLOWING FOLKS HAVE !!!!!!NOTE SOME FOLKS HAVE BEEN REMOVED AS THEY ARE NO LONGER BLESSED ( THEIR LUCKY THEY AINT INCURRED MY WRAITH I MAY START A CURSED PAGE HEH)I HAVE ADDED SOME FOLKS ALSO POUTY GIRL JUST CAUSE SHE HAS A CUTE WITTLE VOICE "HEY HEY" HEH AND CAUSE I COULD JUST SEE HER EYES LIGHT UP WITH WONDER WHEN I INTRODUCED HER TO MP3S THIS WEEK HEH PONY GIRL CAUSE SHE SENDS OUT THE LEATHER BUTT PIC HEH AND I COULD MAKE MONEY LETTING PEOPLE SPANK HER LOL 1-900 SPANK PNY HEY IT COULD HAPPEN HEH I LIKE IT LOL SAMMY AND SUZI 2 OF THE NICEST KIDS I HAVE TALKED TO IN A WHILE WHO I'M GONNA HAVE TO PLAY NINTENDO WITH WHEN I VISIT THEM AND THEIR MOM JACKIE PSI MY PSYCHIC SEXUAL ADVISOR(g) REALLY THIS WOMAN IS HOT AND NOT JUST IN LOOKS EITHER KELTIC MIST: SOMETIMES GOLD IS TARNISHED BABE KNOW WHAT I MEAN? NO FEAR AND LIT 'O ME THE TEAM FEAR CREW: YEAH I OWE U THANKS FOR THE GIF!!! ANGEL THE COMMUNITY LEADER SHE HELPED ME WITH SOME BACKGROUND PROBLEMS THANKS GIRL I OWE YOU THERE IS ALWAYS A PLACE IN HUG HEAVEN FOR YOU MORE BLESSINGS TO COME SOON ALSO BLESSING WILL APPEAR ON THE SUB PAGES FOR FOLKS IN THOSE AREAS TO!!

Yeah, whatever he said. On the positive side, Mr. Hugs is actively campaigning against breast cancer, AIDS, and domestic violence, because it makes it harder to hug somebody when their husband just got done beating them in the chest with a rake. On the negative side, this site makes as much sense as your average Japanese tentacle rape cartoon, which also encourages hugging (only in a slightly different way). Make sure to check out the intensely laughable "poetry," including the timeless classic "CYBER POETRY" (also in all caps):

SHE GIVES HIM HER HEART AND SOUL, HER KEYBOARD AND CPU.
BUT THEN THEIR HARD DRIVE CRASHES AND THEY BREAK UP,
AND THE CYBER TEARS START TO FLOW.
SO LET HER CRY,
LET HER TEARS FALL DOWN LIKE RAIN
LET HER CRY ITS ONLY CYBER PAIN.
LET HER TEARS FLOW LIKE A RIVER TO A CYBER SEA.
BECAUSE CYBER TEARS DONT HURT THEY JUST EAT UP MEMORY

It's like a romantic version of William Gibson, if he were in a fatal car accident and his brain was replaced with a AAA battery. Let me leave you with the following wise words, which Mr. Hugs claims are "POETRY" as well:

Society, you allow our women to be beat and our children to be abused. That's not MY aim, or anyone else I know.

Goddamn society.

PS: He has a guestbook you can sign right about here, but you should probably mention how much you hate getting breast cancer via AIDS transmitted from an abusive husband.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)