LETHALO

LETHALO, submitted by apox. I used to think "Lethalo" was a character from a moderately unsuccessful Shakespeare play, but now I know it's really some ultra-cool, top secret form of martial arts that turns 110-pound cripples into deadly fighting machines! Maybe LETHALO replaces your defective arms and legs with bombs or something, I don't know. Although this site is highly vague, it does an excellent job of conclusively proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that LETHALO can kick your ass eight ways from Sunday and, after using it for two weeks, you can probably make the world explode or something. Who knows. Also, here is a picture of a man wearing a shirt:

If terrorists try to spray your local shopping center with AK-47 fire, you can call the police and watch hundreds die, including maybe you and your family. OR you can kill them. A man walked into the living room of a US farm family which included a large body-building man with years of "martial arts" experience, his girlfriend, her mother, and her three kids. The intruder tied them up, put two of the kids in the back yard, and proceeded to kill the mom, man, and grandmother by beating their heads in with a hammer.

Crap! I don't want that to happen to my family! I'm gonna force everybody I know to learn LETHALO!

A first year Lethalo student on a 9/11 flight could have taken the eyes and throats out of the hijackers with a cell phone (and other tools we don't reveal here--our cell phone attack has now become too widely known since we revealed it in 1998, including to "big daddy" FAA who now want to take them!).

But what if the terrorists sign up for LETHALO classes? We'd have to defeat them with two or more cellphones each! Humanity is doomed!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)