Ultimate Warrior (reprise)

Ultimate Warrior (reprise), submitted by Lowtax. In my update on Friday I made the Ultimate Warrior website the ALoD, but consdering how many legal threats we have received from the Ultimate Warrior by way of his proxy Chris Lewis I thought it would be worth digging a little deeper into the site.

Can you imagine if these fruitcakes were running things? Many can. Many fantasize that they do. And of course, that rapist and reprobate that was in OUR White House psychologically helped pave the way for the tolerance of all such ignorance.

Oh, Bill Clinton you rapist! That's not libel because Ultimate Warrior is legally retarded.

Some of those calling themselves Americans -- way too many, actually -- should be ashamed of what they have become. You know who you are. Your own characters reviewed vis-à-vis the characters of our Founding ancestors, you don’t deserve to breath the same air that filled their lungs.

Yeah, well, you're not fit to breath the same air that filled Hitler's lungs! Oh my God, Warrior, what if you're breathing the same air that filled...GAY LUNGS?! That is how they queer you, man. Better hold your breath. Speaking of queers...

These queer celebs would do best to remember:- be careful what you keep screaming for, you (worse yet your children) might just get it one day. And I can damn sure guarantee you, when American society cracks and takes up your nutty fruitcake schemes and goes anarchy -- your celebrity and fame and money and role-playing abilities and your Barney Fife security guards won’t make your cowardly, pompous, silly asses the rule makers. You’ll be eaten first.

Look out, gays! Ultimate Warrior is going to eat you up! You're just so scrumptious!

How could I think to call this man a racist? I remember now, it's because he devoured three black women. He unhinged his jaw and ate them and then climbed back into the starship Reasonable Argument. He's still bitter about Papa Shango making him toss his cookies.

Wait, I have a whole list of certified facts about Ultimate Warrior.

1. Can levitate using latent homosexuality.
2. Is only 11 inches tall and uses camera tricks to make himself look larger. Like when Gandalf was in the hobbit houses.
3. Voted Democrat in every election since Carter.
4. Is secretly half "towelhead".

I had better stop there because things start getting really libelous around #7 (rapes children) and #19 (is addicted to pain killers that he crumbles up and snorts through his eye).

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)