Tans Barbers

Tans Barbers, submitted by Flatline. Remember how awesome it was to get the Nike swoosh shaved into your head in the early 1990s? Or how about the number of your favorite football player? The late 80s and early 90s were simply wonderful times for shaving stupid images into your skull, and I've often remarked how sad it was that this era is long gone. Well I shall remark no more because it turns out there's some joint in Laurel, Maryland named "Tan's Barbers" which apparently specializes in shaving select awesome images and messages into Asian childrens' heads for some inconceivable reason that I couldn't grasp even if I had an image of an extra brain shaved into my head.

On July 20, 1984, I set foot on American soil. "So this is freedom," I said to myself. Taking on odd jobs to earn a living, I decided to attend barber school in 1988. To say the least, I was a fast learner and loved it; but there was still one more thing I had to do. In 1989, I became a U.S. citizen. Today, I am an American. I met a wonderful woman who I married. We have 3 kids: 2 boys and 1 girl. I love them all. I have also been blessed with so many friends near and far; many who I've met through my profession. To say the least, I am very thankful to my father, my family, my friends, and this great country. As for the rest of the story, come in and ask ... I'll be happy to share :)

I'm incredibly proud that you love America and our wonderful freedom here Tan, but really... what the hell are you doing to poor, innocent peoples' heads over there in Maryland? Come on, I might be able to believe that somebody asked for a Jesus haircut, but a "Remembering JFK Jr." haircut? Or an "America At War" haircut? Who the fuck cares about either JFK Jr. or the Titanic enough to immortalize them in their hair for a month? I suspect Tan is abducting Asian folks, gassing them, and using their heads for his own fiendish, twisted desires. Damn you, Tan!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)