PETA Kids

PETA Kids, submitted by me. Peta is laughable for being ridiculously militant, this is already common knowledge. What's even better, though, is the website they set up to give children ulcers by making them worry about which animal they might offend at any given moment. Their propaganda may work on slow-witted adults, but they figure it's much easier to indoctrinate an unsuspecting kid while he or she is young enough to fall for it. Take the sobering plight of the hermit crab into consideration. Not since the holocaust has such a heartless injustice been done.

So you think you might want a hermit crab to keep as another decoration in your room? Think again! Hermit crabs want to live free in the sunshine, not bottled up in aquariums. They want to hang out with their friends. In fact, when they are allowed to grow up in their natural habitat, they live in colonies of up to 100 or more. Hermit crabs only live in warm parts of the world. They will only lay their eggs in the ocean and will not reproduce in captivity—so that means that every crab in every tourist shop and pet store was ripped away from his or her home and family. These little guys need your help! What can you do? Never buy a hermit crab or support a store that sells them. Educate your friends! Tell everyone you know why hermit crabs don’t make good pets.

This is just one small example, I won't even get myself started on the hilariously horrific "Your Mommy Is A Murderer" comic book they handed out to elementary school kids a few months back.

– Corin Tucker's Stalker (@DennisFarrell)