XCORE NINJAX, submitted by Baelfael. Loud noises, the color red, terrible web design, flashing graphics, and teenage retardation come together to form the perfect idiot stew. Like most sane people, "XCORE NINJAX" fancies himself to be a ninja and future rock star. Sadly, and equally tragically, he is troubled by teenage angst, which makes it difficult for him to tend to his 7 dogs and 2 horses, let alone manage a successful band of high school seniors. What could bring a ninja down? Why girls, of course!

WTF!!!!...THAT LYING PIECE OF SHIT!!..BREAKS UP WITH ME 2 DAYS AFTER MY B-DAY...WITH NO PRESENT...AND NO CALL TO SHOW ME SHE LOVES ME....DIDNT TALK TO HER FOR 2 WEEKS!!!...I DID EVERYTHING A GIRL COULD ASK FOR!! FOR THIS BITCH!!!...I WOULD SING HER TO SLEEP!!!...I WOULD INCLUDE HER IN MY BAND!!!...I BOUGHT HER A LES PAUL CUSTOM FOR HER B-DAY!!..RED AND HOT PINK!!!....I MADE DRAWINGS OF HER!!..ANIMATIONS!!!....WHEN HER DAD BEAT HER UP..I GOT MY MA TO CALL THE COPS AND MAKE HIM STOP!!...WHEN HER MA OVERDOSED HER ON MEDS..MAKIN HER LOSS CONTROL OF EVERYTHING IN HER BODY!!! I CALLED THE FUCKIN HOSPITAL WHILE I WAS AT A CONCERT!!!...AND THAT NIGHT I DRIVE FROM THE CITY TO THE HOPSITAL TO HAVE HER WAKE UP AND SEE ME!!!...WTF!!!!...SHE LIED TO ME!!!..I MEAN I WAS HURT TO HEAR SHE WANTED TO BREAK UP WITH ME!!!...BUT IF UR GONNA LIE AND KEEP LYING TO SAVE UR ASS!!..THATS NOT COOL..I WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD IF U WOULD HAVE SAID U FOUND SOMEONE KNEW!! BUT U GONNA FUCKIN HIDE IT FROM ME!!! FUCK U!!!..I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW FUCKING LONG THEY BEEN TOGETHER!!!...THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN GOIN OUT BEFORE MY B-DAY!!!..SINCE I STILL DUNNO WHEN SHE GOT BACK FROM ORANGE COUNTY!!!...SO FOR ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT BELIEVE IN FATE?!!...FUCK IT!!...THIS WAS THE GIRL I LOVED WITH ALL MY SOUL!!..AND WOULD SPILL THE BLOOD OF MY HEART OVER JUST TO BE WITH!! TO LOVE!!!...TO PROTECT!!!...IF I ALREADY HAD A SHIT LOAD OF CASH..I WOULD HAVE FUCKING MARRIED HER!!!..ESPECIALLY WHEN WE WOULD TALK ABOUT NAMES FOR OUR KIDS!!!...NOW THAT WAS FUCKED UP NOW THAT I LOOK BACK!!...FUCK LOVE!!..AND FUCK HER!!..FUCK U KAT!!!...I FUCKING HATE U!!!...my feelings for ever being in love have just deminished...i seriously doubt ever being with another person u would consider "special" again....and i doubt in my heart that i will ever be happy in that way again....she ripped my heart out...and squeezed it slowly..and watched me cry...as the vaesels crushed in my heart...IF ANYONE HAS GONE THREW THIS PAIN BEFORE!...I AM HAPPY I AM NOT ALONE!..CUZ THESE PEOPLE KNOW HOW MUCH IT REALLY SUCKS TO SEE THE PERSON U LOVE MOST GO AHEAD AND DO SHIT LIKE THIS TO U!...
THAT BITCH!!! But don't worry, our fearless ninja has support from intelligent people like this one:
hey..omg wut dat gherl did was so dirties..i understand EXACTLY how you feel. dat exact same thing happend to me 4 tyms..by the same fuckin guy! gosh* it hurts lyk a bitch huh? well i really really hope things get better for you..i noe its probrably gonna take a while, becus im styl hurting from wen it happend to me. if you need someone to talk to im here for you. ttyl byebye
If it's okay with you guys, I'd like to vent some myself.
GODDDAMNNNN!! MY FUCKING BITCH OF A GFREN FUCKIN SAID SHE WULD PICK ME UP AFTAR MY SHIFT AT ARBY'S!!!! BUT I GET OFF AND SHES NOT FUCKIN THEIR SO I HAVE TO CALL MY FUCKIN MOM AND THEN I HAVE TO HEAR A STUPID LECTURE ABOUT RESPONSIBALITY!!...FUCK REPONSABILITIE!!! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME SHE HAS DITCHED ME AT ARBY'S!!! I spent HALF MY LAST CHECK BUYING HER HAIR XTENSIONS!!!...IS THAT NOT LUV?? I thought we HAD TRUE LOVE YOU WHORE!!! DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT ABOUT CHOIR PRACTACE I KNOW YOU WERE FUCKIN' NOT PRACTICING CHOIR BECAUSE I HAD MY BOY CALL AND PRENTED TO BE YOUR DAD AND PAGE YOU AT THE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!...BITCH1!!
Okay I'm going to go play inside a refrigerator now.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful