The Cabinet

The Cabinet, submitted by A spy in the furry kingdom.If you happen to follow my Saturday updates, you will know that I have declared war on the Internet nation of the furry/vore. This is a war that I am waging not for my cruel satisfaction, but for the betterment of mankind as a whole. The furry/vore is a special breed of human, a human that has gone past the normal realms of fantasy, and like to masturbate to Tom and Jerry cartoons, climaxing at the part when Tom puts Jerry in his mouth. Like tribbles, their numbers grow every passing day, and more lost souls are pinning the tail on the donkey once they realize a girl will never, ever sleep with them. In a way, I feel sorry for them, but then I look at the crudely drawn pictures of wolves with erect penises devouring a creature whole, and my anger returns tenfold.Somebody please turn off the Internet.

This site, "The Cabinet", is just one of the thousands of sites that are eating up precious bandwidth that we could be using to cure cancer in little children. Who knows, maybe we might have even cured AIDS, or landed on the moon by now! And what's with all the erotic Lion King artwork? Why must they take a wholesome Disney cartoon and befoul it with graphic sexual imagery? Thanks to these yiff'ing chucklefucks I can never watch that movie again without thinking about horrid furry/vore/unbirthing/orgy artwork. We can only hope that one day these furry/vores all go to a convention and eat each other, ridding the Internet of their presence.

– Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz