No War For Israel

No War For Israel, submitted by Patricia. What was the recent war with Iraq really about? Deposing a hated dictator to bring democracy to a downtrodden people? Putting an end to a regime that supported international terrorism? Bush attempting to keep nationalism high until the next election? Oil? No way! Naturally, it was a Zionist conspiracy to deliver more land into the hands of the Israelis! Duh! No War For Israel is a collection of "news" articles that point out what should be painfully obvious to any red-blooded American - that the filthy Israelis are leaking false information to the U.S. Government through their pawns - Jewish politicians. You see, Israel may be a tiny little nation that wouldn't even exist in the first place if not for the United States, but it is full of Jews, and Jews are good at controlling things (banks, media, the international kugel market, etc.). So it makes sense that the Israelis would be able to manipulate the most powerful nation on Earth to do its bidding, including deposing Saddam Hussein, because the Israelis are the only people on the planet who wanted him out of power.

"Protest" against Moran all-Jewish
Meanwhile, protests continue against U.S. Rep. James Moran of Virginia, who said last week that Jews were behind the buildup toward war with Iraq. Six fellow Democrats in the House of Representatives said that his comments were "offensive,'' "ignorant'' and "grossly irresponsible,'' and that if he seeks another term, they would not back him. The six, all of whom are Jewish, are Henry Waxman of California, Martin Frost of Texas, Tom Lantos of California, Sander Levin of Michigan, Benjamin Cardin of Maryland and Nita Lowey of New York. The Washington Post also came out strongly against Moran, saying that his remarks perpetuate anti-Semitic views and "confirm our opinion that he is unfit to serve in Congress."

Well I'll be! The people who think that an anti-Semitic remark is anti-Semitic all happen to be Jewish! Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is a raging, hardcore, full-on coinky-dink. And talk about your evidence for a Zionist conspiracy at work in the U.S. Government! Funny, how when only Catholics wrote to me to complain about my Jesus-bashing on Easter, that wasn't a conspiracy, just good people working in the name of the Lord. It is strange indeed how that works out like that.

– Ben "Greasnin" Platt