Southwest Stranglette

Southwest Stranglette, submitted by Sammy. WARNING: VIEWING THIS SITE MAY CAUSE INTERNET EXPLORER TO CRASH. Now that we've got the warning out of the way, let's discuss the possible reasons why that occurs. Well, for starters, this site is the home of a raving Juggalo, one of the legions of rabid Insane Clown Posse fans who are not only stupid enough to think that one band can dictate how you should live every waking moment of your life, they're stupid enough to choose a bunch of rapping clowns as that band. It's possible that it is difficult to view this site for the sole reason that God hates fucking Juggalos and wants to spare you the torture of having to look at this shit. It's also possible that Kali, the site's ever-eloquent proprietress, has loaded this site with so many brain-wrenching fonts in so many cornea-searing colors that Internet Explorer can't handle it. All of the scrolling marquees and hugeass GIFs probably don't help too much, either.

I'd thrill you all with one of the many wonderful images from the site, but unfortunately Kali don't play no right-clickin', foo'. Should you attempt to right click, you will be rewarded with the message, and I quote:

YOU AIN'T A JUGGALO, MOTHAFACKO YOUS A JUGGAHO!...(c)2002-200?

I'm glad she took the time to copyright that message. Otherwise I might have used it as the basis of my new novel entitled This is Why I Need to be Destroyed. If you can manage to load the page and actually read the text over the GIF-tastic background, you'll be treated to shout-outs to Kali's homies, pictures, and enough general idiocy to cause spontaneous combustion. Kali is the southwest stranglette. Don't you be hatin'. I mean it, now. Don't you be hatin'. Especially don't be hatin' in her guestbook, which I would provide a link to, but apparently I'm a Juggaho.

– Ben "Greasnin" Platt