Hi! . . . I am Morpheus!

Hi! . . . I am Morpheus!, submitted by santa clause. Another day, another horridly insipid Matrix site! Just like yesterday's counterpart, today's ALoD revolves around the smash hit movie "The Matrix" and its hit sequel, "Caddyshack 2." However, unlike the previous link, today's site is primarily about... well... I don't know. Some kind of conspiracy mess which involves the government, the UN, the world banking system, and Neo being Jesus. Woah.

THE POWERS THAT BE…THE AGENTS, ARE THE SINISTER FORCES BEHIND THE SCENES… THEY OWN THE GOLD… CONTROL THE BANKS & MULTINATIONAL GLOBAL CORPORATE INDUSTRIES! THEY OWN COUNTRIES… THEY NAME PRESIDENTS; APPOINT KINGS; THEY ORDER MOVIES TO BE CREATED TO ACHIEVE SOME PROPAGANDA AIM… OR BOOKS TO BE WRITTEN TO SWAY THE MASSES IN A CERTAIN DIRECTION. THEY CONTROL THE EDITORS IN CHIEF OF VIRTUALLY EVERY NEWSPAPER, MAGAZINE, FILM AND TV CHANNEL! THESE AGENTS CONTROL PARLIAMENTS, SENATES, CONGRESSES, CABINETS, AND THE BURGEONING INTERNATIONAL AGENCIES LIKE IMF, WORLDBANK, THE UN!
THEY CREATED THE UN; TO COMPLETE THEIR MATRIX! —A ONE WORLD GOVERNMENT… UNDER THEM!

NEO
THE ONE
I AM THAT I AM
THE BEGINNING AND THE END
HE THAT BELIEVES ON ME SHALL NEVER DIE!
THOUGH HE WERE DEAD ... YET SHALL HE LIVE
AFTER MY METAMORPHOSIS FROM DEATH TO LIFE
BELIEVE ON ME BY RECEIVING ME INSIDE OF YOU
LOOK INTO MY FACE, RECOGNISE ME, AND SAY MY NAME!
THEN SAY: "PLEASE! COME INTO MY SOUL!
FREE ME FROM THE MATRIX INSIDE OF ME!"

Each page comes with a complimentary wav file from a Matrix movie, so it feels as if you're really trapped inside the Matrix, assuming the movie had a budget of 19 cents and was written by a lunatic who eats ceramic tiles for breakfast. I honestly can't figure out if the page is about Jesus, the Matrix, Jesus inside the Matrix, the Matrix inside Jesus, the Matrix inside a Matrix inside of Jesus, or a promotional website reminding people to take their anti-psychotic prescription medication daily.

You don't like what you see happening? And you don’t want to be a part of it? Then YOU’re gonna need some dire help from above! You know "the system sucks"? Then you're gonna have to buck the stream! But you can’t do it in the physical, in the flesh! Not by Martial Arts or violence! You're gonna have to do it in the SPIRIT! You will only be able to buck and survive this Hell-on-Earth by getting plugged into the greatest Power of the Universe…NEO or NEO or as he is really called… Jesus!

God bless you, Neo!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)