Jasmuheen

Jasmuheen, submitted by Ed. I'm not even going to bother with a fancy, lighthearted intro here, folks. This site is not painful - it is pain incarnate. The images are of a higher quality than you usually find on sites of this level of insanity. Unfortunately, the higher quality just makes the horrible, horrible miasma of colors all the brighter. After spending just a few minutes on this wonder of a site, I feel like I've been beaten by a gang of rainbows gone bad. The moment my eyes adjusted to the volcanic eruption of terrible colors, I was able to grasp the content of this site, and my remaining sanity snapped like a rubber band that was also forced to go to this site. Jasmuheen is a woman/group (I honestly don't know) who/that has apparently been given a plan that will unite all of humanity in peace and love. That plan is so complex that only a divine revelation could have made it feasible to human minds.

The Madonna Frequency PLANETARY PEACE PROGRAM was given to Jasmuheen in October 2002, in response to the USA - Iraq and Middle East situations, and the general disharmony facing earth’s people at this time. As millions protest the use of violence to combat global terrorism, it has become obvious that with a shift of focus a more positive outcome can be obtained. We know in metaphysics that what we focus on becomes real, for our energy feeds it. If we focus on fear, on war, that becomes our reality but if we shift this focus to "What can we do that is positive and beneficial for all?" then a new reality can begin.

Let me break that down for you, so that you don't actually have to go to this shitstorm of a website. The Madonna Frequency Planetary Peace Program (the acronym for which is inexplicably "OPHOP") that will save our world from devastation is: thinking happy thoughts. See, the only reason people die is because they want to die. If you don't want to be killed, just think about not getting killed. It's that easy! Why didn't I think of that? Oh wait, I did! Then I stopped being a dumbass and started living in the real world. My hatred for Jasmuheen is second only to my hatred to Ed for sending me the link to the site.

– Ben "Greasnin" Platt