Celestial Empire

Celestial Empire, submitted by Darth Versace. It's difficult to know where to begin on this overwhelmingly stupid site. It is an extremely detailed home page for the Celestial Empire. You may not have heard of the Celestial Empire, probably no one has outside of three people in Idaho who stare at a picture of Hitler while the theme to "Star Trek" plays in the background. That's okay, you'll know soon enough, as the empire plans to encompass all of the known galaxy under the tenents of "white nationalism". In an effort to hasten the conquest of the known galaxy the Celestial Empire has already planned out such things as slavery laws and laws governing notary publics. So in case you need your slave papers notarized you know how to go about it. To fund this war effort they are accepting donations via Yahoo (Celestial Empire Dollars not accepted).

While we do not advocate disbanding white nationalist organizations, we do believe that each and every white nationalist should organize under one banner with the exclusive purpose of establishing a new nation, while at the same time maintaining their organizational affiliations. The Celestial Empire will provide this opportunity. We are currently laying plans for the establishment and territorial expansion of our nation. By becoming an Imperial national you can further this cause.

Sure, right now the Celestial Empire might just be this guy, his cat named Himmler, two friends that work at the pork plant with him, and unbeknownst to her, his mom. But just you wait, ten years from now when the United States has become the first territory annexed by the Celestial Empire (current legal name "2474 West Washington Street, Boise, Idaho") you'll be wishing you became naturalized back in 2002!

In the event that you would like to show your bottomless support for the Celestial Empire, don't hesitate to leave a message in the Imperial Dreambook! I'm sure every kind world will help strengthen the Empire's resolve against that Mexican kid who rides his bike around the neighborhood and may or may not have stolen a set of tools from the Imperial garage when the Emperorer forgot to close the door while leaving for work. Also, the Empire needs to hire a fucking new web master or Web Lord or whatever his title is under Section 243-FUCK1NGM0R0N32.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)