Hope's Mom's Page

Hope's Mom's Page, submitted by Me. By now you might have gotten the impression that I dislike sites dedicated to pets, but the truth is I only dislike them when pet owners go to great lengths to render themselves stupid. Writing poetry about your dead cat or cluttering up the Internet with thousands of pet pictures is just unnecessary. We've all seen animals, we know what they look like, and we know that they eventually expire. You don't need to tell us this by starting a website. And you shouldn't under any circumstances ever create a site like the one featured today. I can't even begin to describe the volume of horrible garbage featured here, as there is more rotting filth here than in a cemetery for pedophiles. The first thing that you will see upon visiting this site is about five hundred animated gifs that roughly duplicate the contents of a home. My idea of Hell has always been to live in a house built entirely out of animated gifs, and after today, I can honestly say that I've experienced Hell. A site like this sure wouldn't be complete without at least fifty superficial awards from random idiots who deem themselves worthy of judging other sites. As a random idiot, I judge this site unfit for mass human consumption! Furthermore, extended viewings of this site should be used to punish murderers into repenting and taking their own lives. And I'm still talking about just the freaking intro page.

After you get past the first and second intro pages, which are both quite sappy and painful, you get to delight in the monumental might of the main menu. You have to scroll close to five miles just to see the entire damn thing. From the main menu you can access things like:

For Cat-Lovin' Women Only! - This was the least painful page for me. I guess I'm secretly a cat-lovin' woman.
Hope's and Her Mom - Gaze upon evil in its purest form.
Hope's Photo FX Gallery - Wow, this is the most amazing page on the Internet!

Also, don't even think about stealing these great cat images, because some space age Javascripting cripples your right mouse button in order to protect this precious feline from rotten Internet banditos. Never mind that the author of this mess probably stole all those animated gifs anyway. Finally, I'd just like to say again that THIS IS A SITE DEDICATED TO A FREAKING CAT. A CAT. MEOW. MEOW. ARGH!

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)