The SummerSled

The SummerSled, submitted by why, it's me!. I visit Portal of Evil about once a day, despite the fact that Chet has failed to list Something Awful under his "Other Links" list, probably because he's a big fag. Regardless, I recently caught a banner ad for "The Summer Sled" floating above their site and was compelled to check it out, probably because I'm a big fag. I can confidently declare that "The SummerSled" is one of the greatest inventions ever created, as it apparently allows the user to partake in their favorite activity ("sledding") during a particular season of the year ("summer").

The "SummerSled™" is not only a revolutionary product, but it has given birth to a new sporting activity! All you need is a grassy hill and you can get the thrill. Summersledding is the future of recreational activities, local parks will be searched for the challenge of a new grassy hill. The "SummerSled™" is a must have product for Children, Teenagers and Adults. Mental Engineering, Inc. will continue to develop revolutionary "SummerSled™" products, and introduce exciting breakthroughs in the world of Summersledding.

Wow! "Exciting breakthroughs in the world of Summersledding!" I can only dream of what those discoveries might be; perhaps sledding down a slightly larger hill! Maybe the production of a brand new color SummerSled! Or possibly a SummerSled that allows either two people or one fat man to ride together! Who knows and who cares, the SummerSled is apparently the feelgood experience of the decade or millennium or eon or whatever! I can tell this by the fact that their website uses a color scheme named "we want your eyes to burn for all eternity, mortal." You know a company is serious when they choose neon green text on a neon yellow background.

PS: Don't forget to check out their swank Summersled Hockey Jerseys, wonderful articles of clothing that lets the entire world instantly know you're a big fag, like when you fail to list Something Awful under your list of "Other Links" Chet, you big fag.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)