Maybe if I just prayed more, God would take it away.
Maybe if I really meant it, I would be able to keep my promise.
Maybe when I get married, I won't need it anymore.
Maybe God will give up on me, and I'll lose my salvation.


Today's ALOD is about the war that rages on inside each and everyone of us - The Battle Against Teenage Boners. I'm sure that teenagers, boys and girls alike, are struggling with an inopportune hankering for pornography, and they aren't sure what to do about it. Teens Against Porn offers a myriad of effective anti-perversion devices, such as:

  • Telling You Not To Look At Pornography
  • Telling You To Tell Your Parents Not To Let You Look At Pornography
  • A List Of Places You Shouldn't Keep Your Pornography
  • An Internet Forum Where You Can Talk About How Bad Pornography Is, and How Much Calculus RULES!!!
  • Prayer (for things that aren't Pornography)
  • Shame
  • Pictures and Video of Men and Women Having A Good Time With Their Clothes ON.


Now, if the website was about teenagers that used to make pornography, this would be a pretty funny & interesting place to check out. Unfortunately, they accidentally saw a nipple when they were 12 and are just taking preventative measures to ensure they are never aroused again. Need anti-porn podcasts? CHECK OUT TEH pr0ncast.


Oh yes, the Internet NEEDS another podcast, especially one about the horrors of Sex and Porn and Jesus and The Bible and Morality and It's Hilarious That There Are People That Seriously Listen To This Dumb Boring Puritan Bullshit. The narrator's voice does a pretty good job of setting the mood, though.

– Caylen "Abraham" Burroughs

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful