2012's Viral Buzz List WIN/FAIL Extravaganza (Remember the 90s!?)
Enjoy Something Awful's year-end roundup of awesome viral lists of totally WIN stuff from 2012! Featuring the HOTTEST celebs, the FAITH IN HUMANITYEST tweets and the WINNEST things you remember from the 90s!
UnFenced Cowboy Resume: Hank Langdon
UnFenced is the world's largest professional cowboy networking site, connecting you to trusted pardners all over the lonesome frontier.
The End of Liberty: How I'm Fighting Back
With last week’s election, it became official: American freedom is a thing of the past. Barack Obama will spend the next four years driving the final stake through the heart of a once proud nation. Therefore, I, John Donderondo, am committing to totally disengage from all liberals and liberal institutions from this day forward.
FAQ for White People: When Can I Say The "N Word"?
It has come our attention that certain white people are very confused about when it is and isn't appropriate to use the "n word." As a service to our readers, we've prepared a comprehensive FAQ with detailed directions for nearly every situation in which the word might be used.
KRUT-5 News: Teen Mobile Sex Pics: "An Epidemic"
SHAGGY BUTTE - When Dan Huhl borrowed his teen daughter’s cellular phone to make a phone call to the girl’s mother, he got much more than a friendly phone call. He got a shocking eyeful that still haunts him to this day.
Spigot.us Drinking Fountain Reviews (Part 2)
Reviews of the Shaggy Butte Public Library Fountain from Spigot.us, the web's finest source for informed opinions on the hippest local drinking fountains.
Other Percentages of Americans Romney Won't Bother With
Romney's not backing down from his "47 percent" remarks-- in fact, that’s not the only demographic Mitt has decided not to bother with. In the full version of the hidden-camera video, he mentions several other buckets of the population who he’ll probably never win over.
My Great Ideas for Batman Comic Stories
I've always wanted to write Batman comics, but it's tough to break into the industry. In case anyone from the comic book world is out there, here's an impressive list of really creative Batman ideas.
The Copious Bulletin of J.F. Swanton (Part 26)
The life of J.F. Swanton brims with deed and circumstance! Never before have I had so many evil acts to report, and to write of each in detail would overfill this newsletter to a state of bloody bursting, like the bladder of an elk suffering the horror of my patented Agonizing Urine Reversal Trap (pg. 12).
Michael Phelps: The Bob Costas Interview
NBC's Bob Costas interviews retiring Olympic champion Michael Phelps on his incredible career, his post-Olympic future and his inevitable decline and suicide.
Japanese Wikipedia Sitcom Bios
Doo~tsu! A collection of sitcom character bios from Japanese Wikipedia. "Sometimes and especially Homer, the father does not quite fit the horse, to crack paternity."
District Bulletin: The Death of Dorroile (Part 13)
Dorroile, the worst of our guys, has really done a big one this time, and most gingerly must we avoid stepping in it.
The Last Words of Presidents
An exhaustively researched collection of the final earthly utterances of each deceased US President.
Advanced Chess Glossary
A list of uncommon chess terms for advanced players, including unusual game variants, unconventional strategies and historical oddities.
The Girl's Locker Room Ain't All It's Cracked Up To Be
“TC,” the girls call me. That’s short for towel coach-- it’s my job to oversee the ladies’ locker room. Go ahead and laugh, but I take my job seriously.
Your Band Sucks Special Report: The Loveless Reissue
Your Band Sucks temporarily rises from the grave to examine the new reissue of Loveless, My Bloody Valentine's landmark album of mumbling and weird guitars. Spot every nuance of the remaster and listen like a pro!
$700 large bedroom with laundry on site! (mission district)
Shower pressure is pretty good most of the time, but when your roomie flushes the toilet it gets a little drizzly. There’s only one bathroom, so we have sort of an “open bathroom” arrangement. I took the liberty of removing the lock from the door, so if we both need to pee at the same time, we can totally “play swords” LOL!
The Cyber Spellbook
Some useful excerpts from The Cyber Spellbook, a powerful religious tome from the authors of The Wiccan Web. Learn to banish foes using hot cyber tech (the toilet), and use a simple checklist to find out if you're a true Cyber Witch!
Pharmanautz Triplogs: Blitz
Trusted trip reports from Pharmanautz members on Blitz, the new designer drug sweeping the New Chicago area. Learn what to expect from this controversial substance!
The Wiccan Web
Merry meet, and welcome to the Wiccan Web! Experience the magic of the world's greatest book, which teaches us about cyber spells, virtual feasting, and Gwalchmei, the Celtic god of embedding midi files into your web page.
Billy Drago: An Appreciation in Five Parts
A brief and incomplete tribute to villainous character actor Billy Drago: teacher of acting, owner of islands, pawer of women and signer of insane autographs.
The Foster Friess Guide to Women's Health
Last week, Santorum backer Foster Friess came under intense media scrutiny for a joke he made during an MSNBC interview: "You know, back in my days, they’d use Bayer aspirin for contraceptives," Friess said. "The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly." We’ve contacted Mr. Friess to clarify his positions.
The Shaggy Butte Downtown Dreams Festival
It’s almost that time of year again, Shaggy Butters: the 19th annual Downtown Dreams Festival will be taking over the Shaggy Butte Plaza! As always, we’ve got a stellar schedule of fine art, food, local vendors, rock music and fun. Best of all, we’ve got the best lineup of big-ticket headliners Downtown Dreams has ever seen.
District Bulletin: The Notable Dead (Part 12)
In the days when we had no god, we did not know what death brung. But now we have Swimp, and we are content to die: we will join our cuddle-soft cutie bunny on the moon forever. We will romp and play, and sour clams will be unlimited and Swimp will open their tins for us. Every person will be there, except Dorroile.
