The Worst Joke of 2010
On Christmas Day, 2010, the worst joke of the year was broadcast on the radio. Witness this grotesque perversion of humor if you dare.
Dark Hair
AMDB brings you goofs & trivia for this Japanese horror remake starring Claire Danes and directed by the incomparable Harold Wells.
Energy Booze Drinks: Killing Our Youth?
KRUT-5 News investigates a new deadly new epidemic: our college kids may die by the dozens from “energy booze” drinks like the popular BYITCH JUICZE, and Shaggy Butte law enforcement is powerless to stop it!
Special Bulletin: Something Awful Remembers Leslie Nielsen
The Something Awful team remembers film actor Leslie Nielsen.
The Mottos of Shaggy Butte
A gripping account of how one small town went from "Paris in the Pines" to "The Formerly Rape-Free City" to "Not America's Dumbest Town."
District Bulletin: The Reform of Dorroile (Part 9)
This week in the District, Dorroile has found the love of Swimp and turned into a wide-eyed, sweetly-smiling gentleman. Has he truly stopped being the worst guy? Nobody can figure it out, because he is smarter than everyone.
More Unpopular Urban Dictionary Entries
Jed Kirchner and David Thorpe dive deep into the bowels of Urban Dictionary, where failed slang and forgotten in-jokes forever rot and fester under the weight of ten thousand downward-pointing thumb icons.
The Time Tooth Tooth Tasted Swine: Interlude (Part 8)
You know bout I seen that boy How He Look So Fresh on the corner the other day? He was posted up by that dog statue. And he got this hat on, made entirely out of glass. Word is bond. How He Look So Fresh was posted on the corner in a glass hat.
San Jose: The Deepest Tuck
It's the third-largest city in California, the heart of Silicon Valley and the web capital of the world. It's also a godforsaken sausagefest wasteland of nerd-bros and bike hipsters. Welcome to the squarest major city in the nation.
Last Words of Dogs
"And now, as you finally offer me all the biscuits and people food you have deprived me of these long years, I find I have no taste for such things. Please leave me to die alone." -- Tornado
The Time Tooth Tooth Tasted Swine: Part 2 (Part 7)
The indisputable mathematical fact of chess is that, over time, black always gonna tend toward victory in the long run. Just how the statistics line up. White gotta keep making moves, tripping over his damn self; black just gotta wait it out. For whenever white makes a move, he puts himself yet deeper into disadvantage. Zugzwang, cousin.
KRUT-5 News: Is Your Man Cheating?
Update: Since we originally printed this story, KRUT-5 News has learned that the individual quoted extensively throughout was not Lizzie Harcourt, author of The Guy Paradox: How To Catch Cheaters, Dump Losers & Survive The Dating Scene. Due to an error in communication, KRUT-5 News mistakenly interviewed a raving, undermedicated street person
Dear SkyMall: Part 1
David Thorpe and Josh Boruff wage a war of words in a series of passive-aggressive letters to SkyMall, America's finest airline novelty catalog. Part 1 of 2.
The FBI's Least Wanted Fugitives
Some crimes are so heinous that our society devotes its fullest resources to bringing their perpetrators to justice. Others, like aggravated shrimp displacement, dog harassment and correspondence with an endangered species, don't warrant as much attention.
My Foolproof Business Ideas
The entrepreneurial spirit is flourishing in today's bullish economy! Now's the perfect time to start your own company, and I've got ten foolproof business plans that are practically guaranteed to make you rich (as long as you're willing to share with me). Read on to learn about sock subscriptions, bird carcass recycling and restaurant vomiting!
Partywhistling: Your Teen Could Be Next
It's called partywhistling, and your son or daughter might be doing it right now. And they might be dead already. KRUT-5 News investigates the new teen fad that's six times worse than sexting, jenkem, jelly bracelets and cyberbullying combined.
Rustlr.com: The Lahontan Millet Raid (Part 8)
Connect with pardners worldwide with Rustlr, the web's first cowboy social network! This week, your pardners are tryin' to recover from an awful attack by the marauding Lahontan tribe.
VHS Tapes For Sale
I've run into a little bit of financial trouble, so instead of an article this week I'm just selling a ton of my old VHS tapes. Most of them are in pretty good condition unless specified, and some of these movies are pretty rare. Look within for GREAT DEALS!
District Bulletin: Special Commendation (Part 8)
In which Dorroile-- though still regarded as the worst guy in the world forever-- is reluctantly commended for an act of uncharacteristic valor: protecting a manlet from heckling.
Exotic Pets For Sale! (Part 12)
SUPERB OWL acquired two days ago due to a misprinted party invitation. Tried one wing with buffalo sauce; meaty but too gamy. 555-4682
Unpopular Urban Dictionary Entries
Over the last ten years, Urban Dictionary has become the internet’s most trusted source for street slang, retarded inside jokes and non-existent sexual terminology. This week, Jed Kirchner and David Thorpe delve into its murky to uncover the worst of the bad.
Failure Report: Space Shuttle Excursion
On January 16th, 2010, Excursion experienced a catastrophic failure during the launch process, resulting in the complete explosive disintegration of the craft shortly after takeoff. This document, as ordered by the NASA Accountability and Safety Agency (hereafter referred to as "NASA"), seeks to outline the cause or causes of this tragedy.
