Why Having an Alligator for a Pet is Dangerous
I know, having an alligator as a pet SEEMS perfectly safe. But there are actually a few downsides.
A Guide To The Most Popular Subreddits
Your guide to the main subreddits that there are.
Actually My Garden is Supposed to Look Like Shit
Oh, my garden looks bad? You want a freaking cookie??
![The Something Awful Guide to the Tokyo Game Show [PARTIAL]](https://fpi.somethingawful.com/sasbi/promo/94bd3f4d/79c60af8/831740e5/8a68dd6e/14876.jpg)
The Something Awful Guide to the Tokyo Game Show [PARTIAL]
I did not see the Tokyo Game Show this year.
Magician's Suit at the Dry Cleaners!
"Is this your card? No? Is this your card? No? Is this your card? No?"
Awkward Apocalypse Moments!
I hate when it's apocalypse and relatable awkward shit happens to me... fuck...
![DEATH OF A CLOWN [...] JERRY LEWIS](https://fpi.somethingawful.com/sasbi/promo/c113d499/cd1461d6/bc2f2db7/c99fcd47/14867.jpg)
DEATH OF A CLOWN [...] JERRY LEWIS
"HEY, L-A-A-A-D-Y !!" R.I.P. JERRY LEWIS 1926-2017
TruthFacts: Truth For Whoever
Media for whoever wants it. If you want some media, just click here. I've got you covered.
HELP!! dick stuck in vcr
Got no time for haters 👏 people who expect me to do emotional labor for free 👏 and people who ask me why my dick is stuck in the VCR 👏
K-Pride Parade and Horseshoe Theory!
It's two seperate themes. The two themes are NOT connected.
Actor-Character Continuity!
What if Neo and Ted Theodore Logan were the same person? Not that hard to imagine
I Will Protect Joss Whedon. I Will Do Whatever It Takes
[sauntering up to joss whedon giving magazine interview] Hey are these guys bothering you
![Lightening Up History [With FaceApp]!](https://fpi.somethingawful.com/sasbi/promo/1ac4dbd8/3735534b/cebc28c8/45dafccd/14846.jpg)
Not Being Scared By A Person With A Chainsaw!
me, getting my arm hacked off: you moron. chainsaws arent even used in hockey
![Online Flirting Guide [Guide to Flirting Online]](https://fpi.somethingawful.com/sasbi/promo/a2a394d3/17ae9d89/985646fa/98565f36/14840.png)
Online Flirting Guide [Guide to Flirting Online]
Find a discussion thread or facebook post or whatever where two people are having an argument about a movie or TV show. It's probably game of thrones or some shit. Say to one of them: "Hey is this guy bothering you"
Clean Eating!
The doctor said I needed more greens in my diet so I've been chowing down on scouring pads on my lunch breaks
Remorseful Hitman Kid: Back For ONE LAST HIT!
You don't have to buy this on shutterstock. I've calmed down since last time.
Ready Player One's Ernest Cline Presents: Spoken Word Poetry
Ernest Cline, writer of Ready Player One, shares his newest poem.
Sexts From The Void!
The non-Euclidean geometry of our coupling is corroding my sanity.
Creepypasta_2.wikia.com FEATURED STORIES
Another site got the better URL but we're still the best creepypasta wiki on the web. YES they are all about video games.
Looking Intimidating as I Swing my Sword Around.
Oh my god... that guy's swinging his sword around. He must have an insanely disciplined mind
UpFeed BuzzPost: Front Page Headlines
Hey Asshole! Yeah, You, Jackass! Want To Know Which Disney Princess You Are, You Piece Of Shit?
Remorseful Hitman Kid: The Final Chapter!
Please buy this stock photo on Shutterstock & find other images. I have a family
How to Talk to Your Teenage Son or Daughter!
Me: *throwing a fidget spinner across the room* so what do you cool bros think about Mike's hard lemonade? *dab*
Remorseful Hitman Kid 2.0!
[clearing throat] I SAID "Crying Boy With Gun On Coast - buy this stock photo on Shutterstock & find other images".
The Biggest Announcements of E3 2017
Hey gamers! Looking for the newest, HOTTEST game news direct from this year's E3? Well, look no longer - Something Awful's got you covered!
Remorseful Hitman Kid!
Crying Boy With Gun On Coast - buy this stock photo on Shutterstock & find other images.
"Hey, Did You Know This?" Gaming Presents: The Legend of Zelda Timeline
"Hey, Did You Know This?" Gaming is the internet's premier source for game trivia, way better than those other guys.
My Social Media "Brand" is Saying That Hitler is Bad
If you think Hitler was good, you've got another thing coming.
How To Know When You've Won An Argument On The Internet
Hello, I'm the Dilbert guy. You might know me from: Dilbert, the comic strip about an office worker who hates Mondays but loves lasagna, and my 2016 book The Illusion of Thought: 50 Ways I'm Already Inside Your Head, which is now banned from being donated to many second-hand book stores.
The Evil Wizard Megathread!
if ur an evil wizard post in this thread about the spells you cast and other things like that. personally for me i like to make potions that turn people into skeleton monsters that obey my every whim.
SEX NERDS!!
Wow, certainly a provocative article title this week. Sorry. Next week it'll be about Donald Trump or some shit, promise.
VOICE Hotline Transcript #121445
My new neighbour is an immigrant - and I'm fairly sure he's an illegal immigrant - and he has been harassing me and my family ever since he moved in. I'm just - I'd just like to know what legal recourse i have with regard to three major incidents, specifically.
Xenomorphs Aren't That Big of a Threat
*effortlessly evading the Xenomorphs clumsy blows* Ok, this has been fun, but I think it's about time I killed you.
Opulent Sofas!
Opulent Sofas at discount prices [because they're just photoshops and are not available for sale]!
Neighbours Forced To Interact With Each Other!
Yeah it is getting a little long, huh. Well I'll get on it soon, have a few things to get done first tho
![Persona 5 [GAME REVIEW]](https://fpi.somethingawful.com/sasbi/promo/60430f4a/984aa0a5/34e02733/9a7580a7/14738.jpg)
Persona 5 [GAME REVIEW]
Fans have been eagerly awaiting this game since long before its initial promised release date of Winter 2005. But is this truly the worthy sequel to Persona 4: Dancing All Night that we've been waiting for?
The Voice Actor Who Does All The Spam Calls!
People ask me if it's difficult to do so many different accents, but that's easy. The difficult part is dialing all the numbers.
The Customer is Always... WRONG!?
Think the customer is always right? Heh... read on, kid...
How to Post: A Flowchart
Ever wanted to post? This simple flowchart makes things easy!
The Good Kind of Sex!
Sex is like an art. There's a good way to do it, and a bad way to do it.
![Needlessly Censored Images! [Slightly NSFW!]](https://fpi.somethingawful.com/sasbi/promo/3f8025f8/1c086692/08bc39bd/cbaf4eda/14718.jpg)
Needlessly Censored Images! [Slightly NSFW!]
TOO HOT for online! Or... just hot enough for online. Huh.
Awful Vending Machines!
I mean, they're not that bad. "Substandard" vending machines.
Let's Put Kong in Other Movies!
Let's improve these old-ass boring films with some Kong!
The Nintendo Switch: The First Six Days
We take to the streets to find out what consumers REALLY think of the Nintendo Switch!
Three Phridays in One!
Three photoshop themes for the price of one! Special offer, today only!
How To Cook An Egg!
Ever wondered about how to cook an egg? This article is for you!
![Edges2Cats! [And Shoes, And Facades, And Handbags...]](https://fpi.somethingawful.com/sasbi/promo/02c6a2a8/cc47b260/c0c3c649/db4a2d9c/14682.jpg)
Edges2Cats! [And Shoes, And Facades, And Handbags...]
These all just look like normal cats to me.
Mashup Politics!
Political figures, mashed up, with photoshop [or other image editing software]!
Largely Inconsequential Curses
May your YouTube recommendations always infer the worst about you
Discount Anime Television Listings
Web streaming is a dying medium. Please watch our TV channel.
Minor Acts of Civil Disobedience!
I'm going to use my Q-Tips to clean my ears, against the explicit instructions not to do so
We Need More Bees
*the Baha Men look at their feet and kick the dust around a tiny ajar bee door*
Which's That Pokémon?
A contest to guess a Pokémon engenders even more awe-inspiring art!
![Free IQ Test [Real]](https://fpi.somethingawful.com/sasbi/promo/6baadc89/15961704/3965f9e1/889224e7/14651.jpg)
Free IQ Test [Real]
REAL free IQ test. Try now for NO COST. As used by DOCTORS and REAL LIFE MENSA GENIUSES.
Gordon Ramsay Quotes!
"Yo RZA, yo razor, hit me with the major disappointment over the consistency of this flan"
What's She Reading?
It doesn't matter who she is, all that matters is what she's holding!
My 60 T-Shirt Submissions to SnorgTees.com
You said to submit t-shirt ideas to this e-mail address, so here are some I have come up with.
Keurig: Tips and Hacks!
Drop a cadbury egg in there for a fun way to celebrate easter.
Mammograms!
Please remember to get regular cancer screenings. This part isn't a joke. The part in the article itself is a joke though.
