The Good News in 2018
2018 was bad, but was it all bad? Here are a few stories to brighten your year's end!
I Took a Ride Through Elon Musk's New Transit Flume in California
Does Elon Musk have the solution to LA's commuter nightmare? Is it a flume?
Why Beto O'Rourke is Perfect for Democrats in 2020
The democrats are lining up to do battle with Trump in 2020, but is Beto great-o? Yes.
Excerpt from Chapter One of Macro Aggressions: Zero Safe Space by T.H. Brightstone
Former Navy SEAL Jeff Caliber survived tier one special ops and is now studying creative writing at Sarah Lawrence College in New York. And fighting terrorists.
How Dare Southwest Airlines Laugh at My Children's Names
My children have beautiful names like Brazzers Dawg and they have been humiliated. Southwest Airlines is disgusting!
Santa Claus is Real, He's White, He hates the Blockchain and I Snapped His Neck
I protected the Blockchain from an incursion by Santa Claus. Victory is was and will continue to be mine. Hard as hell and not stopping.
Should we play god by eliminating Guinea Worm?
Save the guinea worm? Him good worm. Part of environment. Green jobs.
That Space Turd Was Not An Alien Probe
Astronaut AJ Tucker returns from a long hiatus to offer his insight about the possible "alien probe" spotted zipping through our solar system.
my mission: to save others from girlfriend joining antifa
for no reason girlfriend now ex leaves me for antifa and take my heart away. I will not sleep while she is in clutches of democrats
UPDATE: Do NOT Believe the Fake News About the Bombs I Sent to CNN
CNN is lying to you about the bombs I sent to CNN! Do not believe their lies!
If elected, I will work closely with the folks who say I am a deep state communist MS-13 child trafficker
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
Bummed About Climate Change? Here's What You Can Personally Do!
If you're feeling overwhelmed by dire climate change news, try taking action personally! You can make a difference in the world!
The 5 Hottest Street Fighter Characters to Marry as Caregivers in Your Elderly Years
There are some hot and sexy characters in this video game series! Find out the five that would do the best job caring for you at the end of your life!
Sorry, the Hairplace is Closed fOR ANGER!!
We at the Hairplace have stepped out due to oUR UNDIMMED BLOOD-HUNGRY RAGE!!
We Tried HelloFresh and We Now Love the Red Worm
We put HelloFresh to the test and discovered new enlightenment. Now we thrive and grow. THANK YOU HELLOFRESH!
Millennials: Do What You Truly Love and Never Work a Day In Your Life
Find something you love, like just for example strangling nurses, start a podcast about it, and you'll never work again!
I Am Part of the Resistance Inside the Finger Family
Daddy Finger has gone too far. There are fingers within the right hand that are resisting him.
Daisy Hogg, would you do me the honor of accompanying me and my AR-15 to prom?
M'lady, would thou deign to accompany me and my ArmaLite Rifle under the sea this prom?
I am being censored from the Papa John's board meetings by the Deep State
Welcome to the very important website the board of Papa John's does not want you to read. It contains the real truth about CEO Papa John.
Fuck it, revoke my security clearance, too, Mr. President
I saw good men turned to mush in the wars against the soggies. Men much better than you, Mr. President. If you are going to take John Brennan's security clearance, take my security clearance too.
D... draining the s-swamp will anger the swamp king
Actions have consequences. Gentle Creature returns to express his worry that draining the swamp will send swamp creatures into his burrow.
Enemy of the People: The Fake News Media Dubs Me "The Secret Strangler"
The Swamp Piggies of the Lying Media have branded me "The Secret Strangler" because they are the Enemy of the People.
The Top 10 Gates at Marinas Where Betsy DeVos Parks Her Yachts
We rank the relative security of the gates at the marinas where US Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos keeps her 10 yachts!
Facebook Moderator Manual: How to Differentiate Nazis From Titties
Facebook must remain unflagging in its vigilance against titties even in these troubled times of rising fascism.
Fact Checking Scourgelord Vilius Mandragore's Speech In the Shattered Husk of Our Former Capital
Scourgelord Vilius Mandragore gave a speech from our shattered capital on Friday and we are here to fact check his claims about his million year empire.
#LetTheBirdsChoose: I Respect the Choice of All Birds Eating Plastic
Eco-worriers are in a tizzy about dead birds full of plastic and want to ban plastics. Shouldn't it be the bird's choice?
I forced a bot to watch 1,000 hours of Donald Trump speeches and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial
I have used my bot to create Olive Garden commercials. This is a bot I have. Don't question it.
Mom, I got the big promotion!! I am now in charge of twenty cages of children!
Extremely proud over here! The bosses took notice and I have been promoted to 20 cages!!
Who is a "Lurking Creep" Now, Brenda?
Still think it's a joke when a man takes his lunch into the bathroom, Brenda? It's called privacy. Look it up.
M. Drake, Sing Pappy Don Bit De Babineau (Part 4)
Drake's struggle to respond to Pusha T's insults has grown more complicated with the tragic death of Drake's Sing Pappy.
Pitiful Millennial, By Age 35 Your Flesh Should Have Melded Into the Gigathrax
If you are 35 and you are not integrated into the Gigathrax then you are not ready to retire.
Congratulations, Mob, for Running Rahowacat69 Off Social Media
The social justice mob has once again turned into the Nazis to silence bigotry. When will they learn???
Analyzing the Symbolism in Viral Music Video "This is Gonna Hurt" by Hoobastank
The Internet is abuzz about a new viral video. Let's break down "This is Gonna Hurt" by Hoobastank.
It is important for allies to call out the appropriation of Predator culture
One girl's decision to go as a Predator to prom set the Internet ablaze with outrage. And that's a good thing!
A Complete List of "Inappropriate Behavior" Complaints Lodged Against Commander William Riker
This is serious: Commander William T. Riker has committed some disgusting acts and it is time he face real punishment from Starfleet.
This Dumbass Terminator in My Gun Store Thinks It's "Assault Rifle 15"
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
I Apologize for Offending Anyone With My Comments About Hitler During My Roblox Stream
I have been accused of many things and my words have been tooken out of context please forgive me and unban me from twitch + roblox.
The Only Washington Scandal I Care About is the Nap Incident
Scandal swirls around EPA head Scott Pruitt, but only one of his scandals is interesting.
It's time to Boycott Laura Ingraham's Nightmarish Advertisers
We must put a stop to Laura Ingraham's offensive show! Join me in a boycott!
![[EXCLUSIVE] BREAKING NOW: The Deep State Might Try to Take Me Out to Stop This Story](https://fpi.somethingawful.com/sasbi/promo/466e695c/8ce7c0b5/cd5c4109/d01ad589/14982.jpg)
[EXCLUSIVE] BREAKING NOW: The Deep State Might Try to Take Me Out to Stop This Story
BREAKING NOW: a story so dangerous that there are those within our government that might kill to keep it from getting out.
Things I Have Packed in My Bug Out Bag
Big trouble is coming and you have to be ready to go with a moment's notice.
The Hoods Are to Be Worn With Your School Uniforms Going Forward
The velvet hoods are now mandatory for all classes and on-campus activities. Do not remove them for any reason.
The Definitive Ranking of the Scariest Rob Zombie Videos
Grimy horror growler Rob Zombie's scariest music videos finally ranked to warn your children.
The Five Most Outrageous Revelations from the Vulture Interview with Rowlf the Dog
Vulture landed an incredible interview with legendary musician and Muppet Rowlf. We break down his wildest claims.
The Nunes Memo: "It is OK to put ranch on everything"
The Nunes Memo has leaked and it will change the way you view our country forever!
My Ultimate Football Hope for the XFL
The XFL is coming back in 2020 and I have some ideas for the future of the league.
Upcoming Fan Edits of "Star Wars: The Last Jedi"
Dissatisfied Star Wars fans have taken the women out of the Last Jedi with a new fan edit. They won't stop there.
KONQUER YOUR PORTFOLIO WITH MY KRYPTO KOINS!
Get in on the ground floor of the hottest new crypto currency sweeping Earthrealm!
I... have changed my allegiance to the good boy
Gentle Creature rescinds his support for Gentle Creature Zuckerberg and turns his attention to the gentlest boy in the whole world.
