You Might Be a Redneck Jokes From "The Road"
Jeff Foxworthy's humor endures the waning light of civilization on The Road.
Why ‘Cat Person,’ a New Yorker short story, fundamentally misunderstands being a human-cat hybrid
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
I am sorry if the Pleasure Room in my office offended anyone
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
Our Site Will Be Pivoting to the Strange Object
The people are not clicking through to comment on our Kinja articles. I am sorry. We are pivoting to the Strange Object.
This Is What It Was Like to Be the Only Literal Nazi at Thanksgiving Dinner
My family wasn't interested in memes or racial theory. No matter how hard I tried to connect with them, they proved extremely intolerant.
The Day We Finally Got All The Money
Hey, friends! Steve Mnuchin is taking a trip to the money. Let's go with him!
American Patriot Quotes
Incorrect quotes are commonly attributed to historical figures and even contemporary politicians and celebrities. If we're done with reality, then let's use that to our advantage.
Think Piece Headlines From the Days of Skeleton Hell
The Hell Skeletons are here and people have some thoughts about their unholy rampage.
PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds Elite Tier Operator Tips & Tactics
Are you ready to take your game to the next level of tier one? Prepare to own the field of the battleground in your next game of PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds.
Will The Last Jedi Answer Fan Questions About the Origins of Female Ejaculation?
Star Wars fan speculation has been swirling about the source of female ejaculation. The answers might finally be coming with the Last Jedi.
Great Founding Father Quote Memes For the Gun Control Debate
Another mass shooting, another gun control debate. Arm yourself with these verified Founding Father quotes to protect your gun rights.
I Will Fully Repay the American People for the Throne I Use in the Pleasuredrome
HHS Secretary Tom Price has been caught making trips to his extravagant pleasuredrome. Now he has offered to pay us back. For the one chair he sits on.
I Walk An Animal: The Gentle Life of Upcoming Gentle Leader
Gentle creature Mark Zuckerberg informs you that he enjoys his dog and wife the normal human amount. That he has a plan. That he will be Gentle Leader.
Our Madre service will disrupt the way momming is done
Our Madre app will commodifying momming and connect Madres with our users.
A Complete List of What Happened
Find out exactly What Happened with this complete list from Hillary Clinton's new book.
Yes, Antifreeze is the Moral Equivalent of Freeze
The rise of freeze is overblown and nothing compared to the threat of antifreeze facing this nation.
Wonder Woman is a big step backwards from my topless blue catgirls
Wonder Woman is nowhere near is powerful as the giant blue catgirl James Cameron made on a computer with the help of his brother.
How Will Children Understand WWII Without America's Hitler Statues?
Trying to change history is a terrible mistake. Tearing down all of America's Hitler statues has left us confused about our nation's proud past.
Garfield Cooks Up Trouble is the most offensive and dangerous book I've ever read
Garfield is a poison of bigotry on our culture and I have never been more offended on behalf of people than I am right now.
Jim, I simply remind everyone that Sonic The Hedgehog's Arms Are Not Freaking Blue
This is about facts, Jim, and Sonic's arms aren't blue and the President's mpreg fic is canon.
Grandpa didn't die flamethrowering the Vietcong so the wrong gender could gas up a helicopter
The world doesn't make sense. We taxpayers have to buy breasts for genderbenders while our boys in uniform aren't even allowed to flamethrower anybody.
Was it Ramzan Kadyrov or Evil Dale Cooper?
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
You Might Be a Redneck Jokes From the Posthuman Body Horror Awakening
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
I had to let Wolfy go because he was the worst dog
Lenny talks about the difficult experience she had with her miserable piece of crap dog who never thanked her for anything.
A Gentle Listening Tour: Americans Have a Variety of Occupations and Scents
In the face of crude, rude behavior, a gentleness rises from the West. It is Gentle Creature Mark and he is listening.
Our New Drone is Our Least Menacing Yet
Our new drone will follow behind you in an extremely friendly manner and capture 4K video of your adventures, your friends, your time in the bathroom, and your heartbeat as you sleep.
Vextor Defense Corp proudly presents the Wise Girl Statue
Boom! Celebrate girl power in the defense industry with the Wise Girl Statue!
14 Biz Club Manspirations for Closers
Time to re-up your inspiration for the grind and put some biz on the board. You are going to close your deals after you see these.
The White House synthetic's most serious malfunctions
It is standard procedure for the White House to have a synthetic. But it sometimes malfunctions...
There... T... There's a New Gentle Creature in Town
Gentle Creature has awakened from his worries. Shhhh. He has gone to visit his gentle cousin who also wants to be President.
You Are Not Going to Believe Steve Harvey's Memo to His Staff About the Giant Bird
A shocking memo from Steve Harvey to his cast and crew has been leaked to the public. You will not believe what he has to say about the giant bird he cares for.
The 69 Most Common Pre-Existing Conditions Not Covered by the AHCA
The AHCA allows insurers to dramatically raise rates on people with pre-existing conditions. Do you have one?
Jeff VanderMeer's Fyre Festival
Natural and supernatural horrors mount on an expedition to an island music festival for the wealthy.
A Note From the New CEO of Lobstero
The CEO of Lobstero, makers of the expensive home Lobster System, responds to recent unfavorable headlines about hand-squeezing a lobster out of one of the company's Lobster Packs.
Why I won’t date hot women anymore and will only date the tour guide from Bee Movie
I am an average middle-aged man who is totally done with all these beautiful women and just wants to settle down with the bee tour guide.
Reminder: Netflix is making a movie with Will Smith as a cop with an orc partner
You saw Will Smith and an orc in a cop car and you were sure it was a dream. But it wasn't.
Neo S-Town is about to E*X*P*L*O*D*E
J0n thinks a rogue AI is murdering people in his hometown, but things are stranger than they seem in Neo Shit Town.
The Most Beautiful Woman On Facebook
The most beautiful woman on all of Facebook is no longer just enchanting your Facebook feed. She's here, y'all!
Mr. Mayor, I Am the Real Hero Here and I Wasn't Just Doing My Job
It is such an honor you are bestowing on me and one I richly deserve for my actual heroism.
Did Sinbad Play a Genie in the Movie Shazam and Then Did He Move Into My House?
Was there a movie called Shazam starring Sinbad? Did Sinbad move into my house and live in a nest?
Why Schrodinger's Cat is Actually Alive and a Dog
More fake science from the mainstream scientists: Dr. Schrodinger claims cat is dead, but cat is alive and a dog.
Protest Properly: Please Don't Gender Your Trump Insults
Celebrate diversity and inclusiveness at your next protest by not calling Donald Trump a nasty little-hands pisspig bitch.
It is Never Okay to Punch a Necromancer
I am getting increasingly disturbed by all these people acting like punching necromancers is good. This isn't the Age of Eternal Night here, folks.
Jughead Fucks Now? How DARE You!
Representation in the media is crucial, which is why this character basically named "Moron" being asexual is so important for the movement.
It's time for Americans to put aside politics and unite into a singular organism
We might find we have more in common than we think if we just stop fighting long enough to combine our bodies into a singular organism.
6 Techniques for Effectively Stealing Valor
The valor pigs have been looking over your uniform and trying to find fault. Time to show them how army is done!
I am the Techno Pope
This ain't your grandpappy's Young Pope. This is the new Techno Pope.