Ouija: In Death We Stand On Chickens
A supernatural journey to understanding the afterlife, courtesy of the world's most powerful conduit to the spirit realm sold by Parker Brothers.
An appeal from Wikipedia founder, Jimmy Wales
Wikipedia responds to Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales' appeal for donations the only way it knows how: with a Wikipedia article.
GI Army Funnies: The War On Christmas (Part 6)
G.I. Army Funnies is back for a white Christmas from far-away Iraq. The men and women of the comic can't be home for the holidays, so they're sending some cheer the only way they know how.
Kidz Newz: Mommy Newz
For kidz, by kidz! The final Kidz Newz takes us to a slightly different educational environment where kids have a lot of news relating to mommy.
Kidz Newz: Money Newz
News for kids, by kids! The kids of Mrs. Anthony's class at Woodrow Elementary on Chicago's west side take a stab at covering the economy.
Kidz Newz: Crime Newz
News for kids, by kids! Kidz Newz is straight from the kids of Mrs. Anthony's class at Woodrow Elementary on Chicago's west side.
That Insidious Beast: Televised Broadcast Schedule (Part 3)
Helpful Internet TV listings from a time that maybe tomorrow but in a world that isn't quite ours.
Blackbird: The World's First African American Browser
An in-depth review of Blackbird, the world's first African American Internet browser.
Internet Cats are a Hoot and a Half
Winesburg, Indiana writer for the Courier Post Luann Daniels mans the CP's Cyber Desk and brings you the hottest stories on new tech and Internet buzz. Luann has recently discovered Lolcats.
That Insidious Beast: TV Infodot Mix-ups (Part 2)
A man named Guz runs a comedy site devoted to mistakes in TV Infodots. Never heard of them? Don't worry, they come from a place that isn't quite here.
Rick Sanchez's News Poetry Jam
Goofy CNN anchor Rick Sanchez consults the newsroom and the Twitter board for his latest poetry jam.
That Insidious Beast: Magnum P.I. (Part 1)
Descriptions for the first four episodes of Magnum P.I.? Well, not exactly. That Insidious Beast offers TV episode guides, news, and entertainment gossip from some place that isn't quite here.
The English Gentleman, Defeated
A Russian bride scam goes wrong when an English Gentleman threatens murder most foul, but the joke is on him: the brides are willing to die!
Dave Mustaine's Wigs & Attitude: Holiday Specials
Dave Mustaine's Wigs & Attitude sells one thing: wigs. A shitload of 'em. The attitude is free of charge.
Big Problems, Modest Solutions: Global Economic Collapse
Watching from the sidelines while the economy falls apart has been fun, but it's time for you and everyone else to join the fight. I have a modest solution that just might save the world.
Are you excited about Chinese Democracy and my three upcoming albums with Viggo Mortensen?
Prolific guitarist Buckethead talks about his role in the upcoming Guns and Roses album Chinese Democracy. He also talks about other projects.
Blue Stripe - The Life and Times of a Harkonnen Florist (Part 15)
The violent and tragic life of a shticky florist from the Harkonnen homeworld of Giedi Prime.
Hey Moron, How About You Stick to What You Know?
Edward Liddy, the embattled CEO of American International Group, offers a few words of advice to his company's many critics.
SOOKIE!
Bill the Vampire from True Blood isn't afraid to declare his love for psychic waitress Sookie Stackhouse. Our video chronicles their passion.
Col. Ironhands, 24-hour Patriot, renews his driver's license
Colonel Ironhands is a part of America's elite special ops strike force. He functions as a special ops member 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Without pause, without fail, do or die, there is no try.
Our Flying Car Sucks
From the flying car complaints department, we learn that the blush is off the Barack. Forces from the right and the left threaten to undo America's first black president by holding him to the impossible magical negro standard.
GI Army Funnies: The Final Battle (Part 5)
The ranks have been decimated, casualties are mounting, and there are just enough men left for one last offensive. Join GI Army Funnies for its final anti-Estonian racist assault on comedy!
CONEX Convict Connections: "The Lamb Speaks" (Part 6)
All good things must come to an end and so too must the very bad things at Lambspoke Correctional Facility. The inmates aren't running the asylum, something much more terrible has taken over.
2008 Fashion SWAT Halloween Costume Spooktacular!
It must be the season of the witch! Fashion SWAT is back to gnaw on your funnybones with the worst costumes of the Halloween season.
Daily SWAT: "French Connection"
Dr. Thorpe and Zack are handing out a treat every day until October 30th!
Daily SWAT: "DOG LOBSTER"
Dr. Thorpe and Zack are handing out a treat every day until October 30th!
Daily SWAT: "Nike Pickle"
Dr. Thorpe and Zack are handing out a treat every day until October 30th!
GI Army Funnies: The Penultimate Mission (Part 4)
Oh God, more GI Army Funnies? Damn straight! The brave soldiers of the GI Army return in search of revenge against the enemies of Freedom and America.
Daily SWAT: "Pumpkin DIEt"
Dr. Thorpe and Zack are handing out a treat every day until October 30th!
Daily SWAT: "Future Cartoon"
Dr. Thorpe and Zack are handing out a treat every day until October 30th!
Daily SWAT: "Hardcore Piggy"
Dr. Thorpe and Zack are handing out a treat every day until October 30th!
CONEX Convict Connections: "Approaching Storm" (Part 5)
Things are getting stranger by the hour for the inmates at Lambspoke Correctional Facility. A cell where reality is topsy-turvy, a plea to cease otherworldly drumming, and a great deal on 150,000 human teeth.
Daily SWAT: "Dapper Dog"
Dr. Thorpe and Zack are handing out a treat every day until October 30th!
Horrifying Sex Toys From Beyond
Nightmares come to life! Well, not life exactly, but they vibrate and moan!
Daily SWAT: "Doggy Island"
Dr. Thorpe and Zack are handing out a treat every day until October 30th!
Daily SWAT: "Udder Insanity"
Dr. Thorpe and Zack are handing out a treat every day until October 30th!
Daily SWAT: "Jokers Wild"
Dr. Thorpe and Zack are handing out a treat every day until October 30th with this Halloween Daily SWAT special.
Return of the Return of GI Army Funnies (Part 3)
Back by absolutely nobody's demand, GI Army Funnies is the world's #1 Internet comic of trench humor from the front lines of America's most hilarious war yet.
CONEX Convict Connections: "Sublime Situations" (Part 4)
Just what is happening in Lambspoke Correctional Facility and how are the inmates on CONEX reacting to these bizarre developments?
Return of GI Army Funnies (Part 2)
Despite popular outcry, GI Army Funnies returns for another high-caliber blast of troop-related humor. Ha ha, what will these jokers do next?
CONEX Convict Connections: "Uncanny Entertainment" (Part 3)
The third installment of the CONEX series returns to D-Block at Lambspoke to find out what inmates are doing to amuse themselves in these dark latter days. The uncanny amusements include a homemade prison radio, a rare record, and an offer for an unusual meeting.
The New Voter FAQ
An informative guide to voting for all voters who love voting on issues and people.
GI Army Funnies (Part 1)
Real Army GIs in a real war! Find out what sort of HI-larious HI-jinx these troopers get involved in!
CONEX Convict Connections: "Unearthly Delights" (Part 2)
More prison deals and more strange happenings courtesy of Conex Convict Connections and the inmates of Lambspoke Federal Correctional Facility.
Twittering From Paul Newman's Funeral
Former Rocky Mountain News reporter Berny Morson has signed on with Something Awful to cover the Paul Newman Funeral. He Twitters the event from the scene.
Interested Times
Military and economic crises define an era. When that era ends, what will be left? Ashes...or eggs?
CONEX Convict Connections: "Esoteric Orders" (Part 1)
CONEX provides commerce solutions for enterprising convicts. See what's moving in D-Block and what some dingbats from tier 13 just want to get rid of as quickly as possible.
Rioting for the Disabled
The blind masseurs of Korea are rioting against new laws allowing for non-blind masseurs. Handicapped people around the world are doing their civic duty and throwing burning trashcans through the windows of a metaphorical Starbucks oppressing us with metaphorical coffee.
This is a Financial Industry of Whiners
Read enough newspapers and you might get the idea that the economy is doing poorly. It's time for all these banks and securities traders to suck it up and quit whining. The economy is robust!
![R[EVOL]utionary Spending](https://fpi.somethingawful.com/sasbi/promo/f81e516d/45f71434/02e9482b/47248e3b/8605.jpg)
R[EVOL]utionary Spending
Throughout the arduous primary Ron Paul raised over 28 million dollars. Find out where all that money went and where the rest is going to go.
Don't Bother Asking Me No Poll
An undecided voter refuses to answer polling questions and weighs his options in the US Presidential election. Will it be the Arab? The guy with the blimp? The old guy with the houses? Find out!
A Funeral for a Friend
My friend and neighbor Kafir wants to bid a solemn farewell to the closest member of his family with more than four legs. First we have to get it back from his cat.
Tupac Shakur's Commonplace Book
H.P. Lovecraft isn't the only writer with a Commonplace Book of ideas. Tupac Shakur's journal of observations and rap hooks provides key insights into the legendary rapper's dark creative process.
Odd Jobs for Hollywood
An absolute outsider's look at the process of doing rewrites for the Hollywood fringe. My life as a screenwriter for straight to DVD movies, lost TV pilots, webisodes, and why my patron no longer uses a fax machine.
The John McCain Honorable Attack Generator
An automated system for generating "honorable attacks" on Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain.
Blue Stripe - The Life and Times of a Space Cigarette Manufacturer (Part 14)
Even a new-age ditz can sometimes become a part of the future's working class. It tends to happen when she's press-ganged into working on a refinery that makes space cigarettes for the fleeing survivors of cylon aggression.
You could handle Lowtax and docevil. Can you handle THIS:
Hell yeah, now this is the real twitter you want to be reading.
Watching the Olymbics From Home
Imperial Island, population 2,803, sent 29 athletes to the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. Get a different take on the Olympics from the perspective of a country that receives little fanfare or notice amid the race for medals.
You Are Not Batman
Carry laws have turned America into a nation of hapless vigilantes with superhero fantasies and tac-ops fetishes. Just because Penn Gillette says it's cool to strap a Luger to your face doesn't mean you have to don your tactical pants and secure the Taco Bell. Remember the "concealed" part?
Another Word for Evil
Harvard scientists think people are conditioned to associate black with evil. What if there is some word or concept that embodies evil even better than black? What if that word or concept happens to need a lot of brush cleared? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Glass 'Em: U.S. Foreign Policy Solutions for the Coming Decade
A serious strategic analysis of the global threats which America may have to explode in the coming decade.
Explaining Difficult Concepts
Odd couples span time and cultures to go head to head in discussion to bring clarity to various issues. Covered in this installment: Today's Headlines, Frippery, and Email.
GO. AWAY.
Can you whine yourself back to being the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers? How about bitch and moan your wife into the Democratic nomination for President? Some people just don't know when to disappear.
A Horrors of Porn Call to Action
Most of the hip people on the Internet know of Super Hornio Brothers, but who among us has actually watched Super Hornio Brothers? Finding this disappeared porno is our new goal in life, and it should be yours.
Mission Briefings from Hell: Darkest Fears
Lead & Secure WDA mission briefing for mission #9: "Darkest Fears." You confront a neutrillium conspiracy and General Falcon confronts his deepest prejudices.
Blue Stripe - The Life and Times of a Cyberdyne Systems Model-66 "Assembler" (Part 13)
Even a hardworking Cyberdyne Systems Model-66 sometimes has a few extra milliseconds to ponder life. Get inside a positronic neural-net processor and find out what a few production cycles are like at the Skull City production facility.
Van Winkle
Epic slumberer Rip Van Winkle does battle with supernatural forces in 21st Century New York.
With Extreme Prejudice
Dealing with one of suburbia's most-hated pests can test a new friendship between a white knight Arab biker and a dumb slob with bad ideas on how to use a garden hose. Guess which one I am.
Google Future - The Oil Apocalypse
Through the power of Google Future, gaze into tomorrow and see the world in the throes of the oil apocalypse. Cities burn and crumbling nations search desperately for alternative fuels in a ruined landscape of wild gangs, mutants, and cannibals.
Something Awful Special Report: BLACK IN AMERICA!!! (Part 83 of 631)
The true story of life as a black person in America. It's a tough life full of peril and heartache. Get the true story from real blacks in their natural habitats.
Raymondo's Summertime Pets 4 U (Chess, They are Beautiful)
Chess, I am back! Raymondo has returned to you, gentlefolks, to offer some new friends for you to be friends with during the summertime. These will be friends for life, not just the summertime.
Do Not Be Ashamed of The Pleasure I Bring
Discover the ecstasy only a gorilla rape can bring to a woman. Don't be afraid. Don't be embarrassed. Let go of your inhibitions and embrace the many pleasures of That Marvelous Ape.
The USMC Guide to Interrogating an Enemy Combatant
A leaked copy of FM-1833 provides "Answers" on how Marines are told to handle detainees at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
The Arthouse of Horrors - PC Game Covers 2
The Arthouse of Horrors is having another open house to continue its exhibition of terrible videogame artwork. Steve joins Zack in celebrating these art atrocities inflicted on gamers since the mid-1980s.
These Things I Know
I know things about cigarettes, fine ladies, black folk, cowboys, and so much more. Take this information from my brain and put it into your brain by way of computers.
Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048
What could go wrong with a hentai version of X-Com? Find out, as the latest Awful Anime reviews "Pretty Soldier Wars A.D. 2048"!
The Blackwater TacOps Certification Exam, Written Portion
Almost there! It is now time to pass the written portion of your exam and complete your training to become a Blackwater security contractor!
Instruction for a THing (Part 8)
The "Instruction for..." series concludes with this final strange message from our benefactor. What will become of us now?
The View From Below
A companion to the "Instructions for..." series written from the perspective of the Mans From Below.
Lightning Warrior Raidy
Maze dungeons with no automap! Grinding girls dressed like cows for experience and potions! One attack and one spell! Hentai reviews return with this hellish hentai and roleplaying game hybrid.
Blue Stripe - The Life and Times of a Weyland-Yutani Cryotech (Part 12)
Freezing people for deep space travel is a critical component of super-corporation Weyland-Yutani's colonial expansion. Roger Washington is one of many men behind the deep freeze, and he hates it when popped-collar suits start nosing around.
Instruction for a What?!? (Part 7)
A behind-the-scenes teaser for the "Instructions for..." finale.
Instruction for a Peace (Part 6)
These are troubled times. We must listen closely to the voice and heed its words. These instructions will surely put an end to the turmoil and restore peace to our lives.
Celebrity Guest Writer: Amy Winehouse Challenges Her Critics
A scathing assault on the media from frequent subject of the tabloids Amy Winehouse. She explores life under the microscope and what she plans to do to fight back.
Leaked "Six Million Dollar Man" Script (2008 CBS Remake)
Fans of the old ABC show <i>The Six Million Dollar Man</i> can rejoice! CBS is bringing the bionic man show back and we have the leaked pilot script to prove it.
Instruction for a Town (Part 5)
Our benefactors continue the "Instruction for a..." series with a dramatic look at community life. What does it take to get by in this modern workaday world? Find out!
A Video Tribute to Dogs, Our Handless Friends
"Old Dog, New Tricks" is a video tribute to dogs, our handless friends.
The Arthouse of Horrors - Retro PC Game Covers
The Arthouse of Horrors opens its doors to questionable PC cover art. Stroll down memory lane with covers from the 80s and 90s. Realistically, you won't even remember most of these games.
My Muslim Neighbor is Not a Terrorist. He is a Panther.
Quiet suburban Chicago is exposed to the dangers of radical Islam. Or tubular Islam. Kafir, my neighbor, is not a terrorist. However, he has certain other passions...
The 7 Most Awful Corporate Mascots
A celebration of the terrible characters selling you on the terrible products.
Something Awful Endorses for the Third and Final Time
Two strikes! Now Something Awful is proud to offer our third and final endorsement for President of the United States of America. This person has the energy, dynamism, and inspirational qualities to bring America the change it so desperately needs.
Voters Talkin' About Recession
Six voters tackle the tough questions when it comes to the US economic crisis. Will they offer optimism or a rambling, borderline insane nihilistic view of America's future?
Celebrity Guest Writer: Sean Penn Discusses the Phoenix Mars Mission
Sean Penn discusses the Phoenix Mars Mission and how it relates to issues in the US and abroad.
Instruction for a The Bodie (Part 4)
Instructions for your growing body from an unknown but seemingly official source. Tips on nutrition as well as physical fitness that will help you be the strongest and gestate the best.
Hillary's Final Pitch to Superdelegates
Hillary Clinton is giving her final desperate pitch to the superdelegates. Can she save her campaign? Can she save...the world? Either put those sunglasses on or eat that garbage can.
Celebrity Guest Writer: Chef Anthony Bourdain's Bests and Worsts
Favorite food? Least Favorite food? Chef and author Anthony Bourdain stops by Something Awful to offer the answers to the two questions he gets asked the most.
Honoring Our Fallen Nazis
So many brave Nazis have given so much in their search for the Ark of the Covenant. Today, all of Germany must honor their sacrifice for the Fatherland. Their courage under fire, propellers, and truck wheels cannot be forgotten.
One Sentence Dystopias
You're invited on a tour of just a handful of the millions of private hells that exist in people's heads. Each nightmare reality is more terrifying than the last.
Hasten 88 Unctuous
A rare and forgotten film export from one of the least-known countries in the world. Xerenej's Hasten 88 Unctuous is like motion-sickness for your soul.
John McCain 2013 Ad Roughcut
The previously unreleased roughcut of John McCain's "2013 ad" sheds new light on his mindset.
Loving You is Easy 'Cause You're Inanimate
It's a classic story. Man buys table, man loves table, man goes to jail on four counts of public indecency. Should table-lover Arthur Price be hated or celebrated?
The 10 Most Awful Museums to Visit This Summer
From sticking things in cows to world record collections of things you don't care about, these are 11 museums you should avoid this year.
From Crawford with Love (and Souvenirs)
I was invited to a delightful event this weekend in Crawford and I am excited to share my experience of this memorable and wonderful day.
Adult Friend Finding
The nightmare of the Democratic primary is all but officially over and now contender Barack Obama needs a friend. Who will accompany him on his endless journey to the White House? Learn more about some of the top contenders.
The Monster at the End of This Movie
Tim Burton tackles a film adaptation of one of the most-read books in American history and explores the darkness that lurks in the hearts of us all.
Forgotten Literary Greats: "Cracked Copy" by Bruce Gibson
A forgotten two-fisted cyberpunk thriller from 1986. Hailed by critics as the most accurate example of the genre, "Cracked Copy" follows "datajacker" Case and his efforts to stay alive on the razor's edge.
Regarding the Planning of the 2008 Princes of Midnight Gathering
Each year on Friday the 13th the Princes of Midnight gather at a secret location to celebrate their positions as shapers of the masculine ideal. These powerful figures can sometimes butt heads when it comes to the arrangements for the meeting.
Demographics
Like it or not, you are a demographic. This handy guide will help you determine what to buy and how to vote.
Blue Stripe 40,000 Interview Special (Part 11)
38,000 years into the dark future there is more than just war, there is a hell of a lot of work that needs to be done. Join Blue Stripe in our voyage to the 41st millennium to interview three working stiffs from the war-torn galaxy of tomorrow.
The 6 Most Awful Popes
Forget about Benedict XVI, these 6 Most Awful Popes make Napoleon look like Neville Chamberlain. These popes are going wild and they aren't afraid to show it all to you!
Revenge of Happiness
The wild information-dense layout of Japanese magazine ads collide with strange English and stranger products. If you want to enlarge your breasts with foam, poop the weight away, and ward off Jewish vampires in Japan, then this is the article for you. It's mostly pictures, so it should take about one minute to read.
Dr. Wodenferd’s Impossible Predictions for the Coming Years
Dr. Grumman E. Wodenferd, Doctor of Impossiblism, brings you his 56th annual predictions of the future. Dr. Wodenferd is a respected Impossiblist and has one of the best records for futurist predictions of any American not using forbidden arts.
Stephen King's The Vessel
A ghost ship washes ashore after a strange storm and people in Bangor, Maine begin to kill each other. Madness is spreading and the survivors only have a limited and clearly established amount of time to figure out what is happening before the world ends.
Our Overestimated Friends
We love our precious babies, but do we expect too much from them? Cats, dogs, and all the rest just aren't as smart as we like to think. It's a cruel reality, but the demands we are placing on our under-equipped pets might just be causing real mental health problems.
Profiles In Scourging: Blarghosphere Awards Special
Profiles in Scourging is proud to present our first annual Blarghies, the awards for horribleness in Internet political reporting and commentary. Find out which of your favorite political brain trusts is responsible for which crime against humanity.
Hillary Clinton's Tall Tale Generator
Enjoy the dubious yarns of Hillary Clinton before they hit the campaign trail thanks to the Hillary Clinton Tall Tale Generator.
Instruction for a Spring (Part 3)
Spring here again and instruction given for a spring. Enjoy the warm sun on your soft skins. Remember the way before the cold times. A birth anew for the earths. Get the low down.
The Mellotron Cowboy
ChodeKING, one of the Internet's dumbest denizens, solicits help opening a candy bar and ends up chatting with a time-traveling cowboy with a miniature horse and a love of birthdays.
Mission Briefings From Hell: Assault on Mars Space Station
Lieutenant Cristo of Astro Squadron receives a mission briefing from hell from Earth President Templeton of Earth Fleet HQ. Find out just how bad things can get in this science fiction RPG.
Candidate Questions Overlooked by the Associated Press
Every scrap of minutiae has been gobbled up by election watchers this year, including an AP survey of candidate answers to unusual questions. Find out what questions the AP missed and how the candidates respond.
Internet Spotlight v3.0
After more than a year the Horrors of Porn is back with Internet Spotlight v3.0. What do a yeti, a ventriloquist dummy, and Osama bin Laden have in common? They're all in this special comeback installment!
Profiles in Scourging II: Scourge Harder
Religion and big mouths dominate this installment of Profiles in Scourging. The Reverend Jeremiah Wright controversy gets worked over and Osama bin Laden feels the sting. Plus find out who got away with saying some unbelievably stupid crap.
Blue Stripe - The Life and Times of a Delta Quadrant Scam Artist (Part 10)
Even working stiffs can turn to crime. The USS Voyager falls prey to a petty criminal running a scam in the Delta Quadrant.
God Damn Honky Doomsday
Reverend Jeremiah Wright of the Trinity United Church of Christ has caused a lot of problems for Senator Barack Obama. Find out just how serious those problems can be when we reveal this astonishing DVD.
CARS: TRUCKS (DEALS)
Looking for a great deal on a used truck? Look no further! CARS FREE MAGAZINE brings you all the best DEALS on TRUCKS! You won't believe the great BARGAINS on some of these VEHICLES.
Profiles in Scourging
Political self-immolation was the name of the game this week, but Profiles in Scourging is never above flaying the flesh from a charred corpse. Salt the lash and join us as we tackle two of New York's finest: Eliot Spitzer and Geraldine Ferraro.
The Lasers of the Aryan Brotherhood
Hiring a light show isn't cheap to begin with, but imagine trying to hire a light show as a Nazi.
Google Future - When Hillary Attacks
With the power of Google's new Google Future search engine we can glimpse the headlines of tomorrow. This time we utilize the quantum power of Google Future to peer just days and weeks into tomorrow to find out what happens when Hillary Clinton attacks.
The Anonymous Abject Moron Complaint Box
We've heard from atheists, Christians, white men, and others. Now it is the abject moron's chance to air his grievances in an anonymous fashion. Find out what is bothering the dumbest among us.
Slew
Slew (2006) takes the nihilistic horror movies of the 21st century to a new high or a new low depending on your view of graphic torture sequences.
CARS: VANS (DEALS)
CARS, the ultimate guide to cars and deals on cars and where to buy cars is available at a grocery store near you. Today, we bring you a selection from the VANS on offer in CARS.
Astroblog 2029
It's the year 2029 and Astronaut Kayla "Juice-E" Paulson is blogging from the Atremis-2 mission to explore Jupiter. What wondrous vistas will she encounter? What amazing adventures while she have? Find out!
Wool Fetish SWAT
Dr. Thorpe and Zack kick down the door of a creepy German office/house where they are manufacturing all manner of strange wool fetish garments. Leave your hamburgers at home.
Woman Ain't the Nigger of the World
Tina Fey's cry for women to rally around the oppressed Hillary Clinton rings completely hollow under even slightly scrutiny.
Voters Sayin' Things About Whats-its
What is on the minds of six of America's most opinionated voters? Find out when we ask them a series of questions sure to shine new light on the varied views of the electorate.
An Open Letter to Concerned Mothers
An open letter to concerned mothers in which I outline my contribution to their efforts and attempt to add to the dialog regarding the children.
A Very Truly Tragic Romance
Geena Davis and Bill Pullman star in 1990's forgotten and moving film about love and dying.
Blue Stripe - The Life and Times of an Imperial Waste & Sanitation Worker (Part 9)
A long time ago and really far away toilets still got clogged up and trash compactors still jammed. Find out what it's like to live as a sanitation worker for the Galactic Empire.
Texas is the Place for the Miracles of the Bill Clinton Wife Type and the Babies
Mexican wrestler El Pinto Grande assists Senator Hillary Clinton in her campaign to win over Latinos in Texas. Then he goes on a quest of his own to protect some endangered wildlife.
Cancelling Your Huckalerts Subscription
The culmination of two weeks of harassing an acquaintance with fake Huckalerts IM spam from the Mike Huckabee campaign.
Hunter S. Thompson Files His Belated Report on the 2007 Spike Video Game Awards
Hunter S. Thompson skips a guild raid to blog on location from the Spike 2007 Video Game Awards. Find out who the winners and losers were in the biggest and only televised video game awards show, brought to you by Spike TV, FHM, and Blockbuster Video.
Overlooked Election Facts & Statistics
The election season always brings with it a storm of polls and demographic surveys, but some numbers and facts escape the notice of the major media outlets. Find out what's happening that isn't getting reported and analyzed.
Cutting Up
The AMDB profile of 1978's infamous documentary about the sport of professional bodybuilding.
Something Awful Endorses Again
Last December, Something Awful endorsed Senator Chris Dodd for President. With Super Tuesday only a day away, we feel it is time for us to endorse again. Learn who we have decided to endorse and why.
Live-Blogging the Democratic Debate
The final Democratic debate is taking place in Los Angeles tonight and we provide up-to-the-minute live-blogging coverage of this momentous event. Will the sparks fly or will it be hard to stay awake? Find out what happens at the showdown in Hollywood!
The 7 Most Awful Wastes of US Taxpayer Money (Part 2)
The conclusion of our list of the 7 worst US government wastes. Time to take a trip back to Iraq and discover the worst waste you can imagine, stop some coyotes on the border, and protect our great nation from terrorists!
Instruction for a Babie (Part 2)
A detailed guide to caring after conception. Nurturing the fetus growing within your body and preparing yourself for the joyful moment of birth. Instructions on what to do with your infant after it has reached suitable age for mentoring.
Blue Stripe - The Life and Times of a Dalek Slave (Part 8)
There is more to the exterminating empire of the Daleks than you might have realized. They don't just disintegrate humans, they also enslave humans! Find out what life is like as a slave to the Daleks.
The 7 Most Awful Wastes of US Taxpayer Money (Part 1)
A look at the seven worst ways the government has recently been wasting our money. Take your blood pressure pills before reading.
2008 Hewlitzer Prizes for Superfluous Literature
The 2008 Hewlitzer Prize Awards recognize excellence in the field of superfluous writing. This year the Hewlitzer Commission has selected authors in six different categories and presented them with the esteemed Hewlitzer medallions.
The 25 Most Awful Places According to Hollywood (Part 2)
The conclusion to our list of the most terrible places according to Hollywood takes us to the deep sea and seedy schools, among others.
Google Future - Obama Supreme
Google Future provides a glimpse of tomorrow's news headlines from the Presidency of Barack Obama. Learn just how much change he has brought to America by the closing weeks of 2011.
Raymondo's Beautiful Special Pets 4 U
Animal lover Raymondo offers a selection of sweet pets up for adoption to a good home.
The 25 Most Awful Places According to Hollywood (Part 1)
Part of the magic of making movies is conveying a setting or location. Find out what places Hollywood has been telling you to avoid and whether or not Hollywood is right.
Dear Shelly Hwang and Young Lee, Owners of Pinkberry
Shelly Hwang and Young Lee have been lording their credit superiority over me and my business for long enough.The time has come for me to respond with both barrels by penning a hotly-worded letter on the subject of their disgusting bragging.
2009 Presidential Press Conference Preview (The Republicans)
The primary season is heating up, Huckabee and Obama are winners, but that doesn't mean it's time to stop speculating! Join us on a journey through the possible press conference techniques of four of the most interesting Republican candidates. Plus a mention of Fred Thompson.
