The CEO of Extremely Shady, Inc. Apologizes for the Events of the Iowa Caucuses
The CEO of the company responsible for the SHADY app defends his developers, parent company, and the mysterious people on the board of that company.
The Key to Peace in the Middle East is My Charisma
I am a bottomless abyss of charisma. Gaze deeply and peace shall follow.
John Delaney is the only choice for America
Believe it or not, John Delaney is still running for president.
Movies Greenlit by the New Warner Brothers Production AI
A preview of some of the movies generated by the Warner Brothers production AI.
I CUCKED My Routine For the SNOWFLAKES In the Catskills Audience and Boy Are My Arms TRIGGERED
Tired of the liberal protests, I have decided to rewrite my ENTIRE comedy routine.
A Complete List of Mayor Pete's McKinsey Clients
What was Mayor Pete doing at McKinsey? Find out in this exclusive breakdown of the details!
I'm Socially Liberal, Fiscally a Billionaire
It is time someone finally speak to the most important demographic in this election!
The Fifty Deadliest Mushrooms
Excitement grows over mushroom hunting season! But watch out for these 50 deadly mushrooms!
The most uplifting news stories of 2019
The news have you bummed out? These stories from 2019 will lift you up!
Together With The Mayor Pete Enjoying The Sweet Baby Ray's
Mark Zuckerberg is here to elect The Mayor Pete and chew meat fibers with Sweet Baby Ray's.
NBA Players Must Not Make Political Comments About Necro Hell
Adam Silver updates the NBA rules about commenting on Necro Hell after the Necro King asked him to saw Daryl Morey in half with a rusty pendulum.
MAFIARAVE!!! (Part 7)
World #1 Strengthman Hyurgi Tigerwoods has MAFIARAVE in Odessa and he is inviting you to RAVE!!!
Flu Season is Here to Finally Free the Fortunate From This Hell
30,000 people die from the flu every year and if you are lucky you could be one of them!
Mr. President, It May Be Time to Call Upon Saudi Arabia to Use Their Orb
With his presidency in danger, it is time for the president to use the Saudi orb!
The premises for all seven seasons of Jack Ryan on Amazon
Amazon has already planned out seven seasons of their Jack Ryan series! And we have the scoop on the details!
Bret Stephens writes an angry letter to Chuck E. Cheese about an employee's tweet
Bret Stephens does not have a tiny bug dick, Mr. Cheese. This is worse than the Holocaust.
Here’s what’s coming to Crackle in September
Find out what is coming to America's 19th most popular streaming service.
Behold the Suffering of the Amazon FC Cenobites
If pain is pleasure and suffering is wisdom then who can deny the knowledge of the Amazon Fulfillment Center's Cenobites?
What if Disney Princesses Were Punisher Skull Decals?
Which Punisher Skull would these Disney princesses place on the back of their black pickup truck?
The Thrilling Characters You Need to Know in the New Cats Movie
This new Cats movie looks disgustingly good! But do you know about all the cats? Let us bring you up to speed!
I disavow this dang lynch mob I assembled outside the sheriff's office
There's fixin' to be a hangin' at the sheriff's office and I disavow all involvement in it.
Jeff Foxworthy's Fourth of July You Might Be a Nazi Jokes for Border Patrol
If your response to kids dyin' in your cages is to complain that the kids shouldn't have made you put them in your cages in the first place...... you might be a Nazi.
Marianne Williamson's Address to the World on Idependence Day (ID4)
Spend this July 4th by meeting fear with love and joining the world in celebrating Halloween. The day we take back the world for all children.
Petition to Force Nintendo to Restore Tifa's Huge Breasts in the FF7 Remake
Join my petition to force Nintendo to FIX Tifa's breasts in the FF7 Remake!!
WEPOWR: Our Free Speech Social Media Site Will Thank You for Using the N-Word
No censorship! No demonetization! It is time for the people to rise up and form a truly free social media website!
New SAFETY Rules for Operating an Abortion Clinic in Missouri
Women must be SAFE in the last Missouri abortion clinic, so that is why the men on the Missouri Women's HEALTH & SAFETY council have come up with some new rules.
Could Chernobyl Have Been Prevented With CBD Oil?
The disaster at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant might have been mitigated if CBD oil had been given to the Soviet heroes.
PETITION: We Demand HBO Remake the Final Season of Game of Thrones and Rewrite Daenerys as Our Girlfriend
If HBO ever wants us to watch their channel again they will listen to our demands!
Jeep Things You Wouldn't Understand
There are other cars and then there are Jeeps. You wouldn't understand.
Which Death Would be the Most Shocking on the Next Game of Thrones?
Which death would you be the most shocked to see on the next Game of Thrones? Find out!
Mitt Romney's Reaction to the Revelation That Our Alien Rulers Are Here to Eat Humans
Resistance Leader Mitt Romney takes a heroic stand on the data tapes containing the truth about the agenda of our alien overlords.
P...please do not elect the coffee man
Gentle Creature offers his concerns about the candidacy of Starbucks founder Howard Schultz and endorses an alternative.
Our Sheriff's Office Draculas Can Prepare You for the Terror of an Active Shooter
In the wake of criticism, White County Indiana is employing new tactics to prepare the community for active shooters.
How to prepare for the grueling democratic primary
How many Lin Manuel Miranda songs can you endure during the democratic primary?
I Cut the 'Big Five' Tech Giants From My Life. Now I Talk to My Grandpa's Ghost on Orkut.
A Gizmodo writer decides to block Apple, Facebook, Google, Amazon, and Microsoft. She discovers a hidden realm of ghosts trapped in the early mid-2000s on Orkut.
We can show you a real egg, can others?
McDonald's is boasting about their egg. Can the competition show you an egg? Find out!
The lives of the people on thispersondoesnotexist.com
The website thispersondoesnotexist.com generates a new realistic human face every time you load the page. Convincing people with convincing lives.
A supplementary list of images of Jeff Bezos obtained by The Enquirer
The Enquirer attempts to extort Jeff Bezos with a new list of compromising images obtained by the tabloid newspaper.
I am deeply sorry if I offended anyone by constantly being a racist in my twenties
Virginia Governor Ralph Northam has changed since his mid-twenties and no longer wears blackface regularly.
If You Want to Keep 1000 Corpses in Your House that is OK
Tidying expert and joy sparker Marie Kondo responds to critics who were outraged that she would tell people to reduce the number of corpses in their house.
Since When is the Heil Hitler Salute a Bad Thing?
Iowa Congressman Steve King reflects on how our PC culture is limiting arm speech.
Robocop didn't always use toilets
We know you've been wondering about Robocop's bathroom situation and we are happy to provide you with answers!
The Good News in 2018
2018 was bad, but was it all bad? Here are a few stories to brighten your year's end!
I Took a Ride Through Elon Musk's New Transit Flume in California
Does Elon Musk have the solution to LA's commuter nightmare? Is it a flume?
Why Beto O'Rourke is Perfect for Democrats in 2020
The democrats are lining up to do battle with Trump in 2020, but is Beto great-o? Yes.
Excerpt from Chapter One of Macro Aggressions: Zero Safe Space by T.H. Brightstone
Former Navy SEAL Jeff Caliber survived tier one special ops and is now studying creative writing at Sarah Lawrence College in New York. And fighting terrorists.
How Dare Southwest Airlines Laugh at My Children's Names
My children have beautiful names like Brazzers Dawg and they have been humiliated. Southwest Airlines is disgusting!
Santa Claus is Real, He's White, He hates the Blockchain and I Snapped His Neck
I protected the Blockchain from an incursion by Santa Claus. Victory is was and will continue to be mine. Hard as hell and not stopping.
Should we play god by eliminating Guinea Worm?
Save the guinea worm? Him good worm. Part of environment. Green jobs.