WAVES OF DOGS (Part 41)
THE ELUSIVE DOG - I have only seen him twice in the past year. I don't remember much about him, but I think he's brown and white. Would love to trade for a more ambient dog. 555-7625
Celebrity Stalker 2016 Finale (Part 15)
Celebrities are just like us, appearing in public right before our prying peepers. That's where our hungry-eyed star-spotters catch 'em unawares. Lights! Camera! Look!
SkyMall Product Reviews: Hot Bod Beach Babe Woman Body Raft (Part 49)
By the time I finished inflating this thing, I was too tired to use it. This is just like real dates. Women wear you down making you jump through so many hoops, then you are simply too exhausted and sad to continue. The pump should be free.
Memos from Bear Cave: the Family Business (Part 22)
I've got terrible news for you idiots. You're all going to lose your jobs. Your children are going to starve and die slowly in front of your eyes. Your whole world is going to end. If half of you make it through the day without committing suicide, I'd be shocked.
CRUSH OF DOGS (Part 40)
FREE HUSKY DOG - Not to be confused with "Siberian Husky." This overweight Corgi is too embarrassing to take out in public. No longer fits in any of the expensive sweaters I purchased for him. Sweaters not included. 555-8092
Donald Trump Isn't Fit to Be Mayor of Buffoontown
People can't stop talking about this Donald Trump character. He's said a lot of crude and hateful things over the years, and demonstrated a tremendous lack of judgment, discipline and decency. If you ask me, he's not fit to be our president. In fact, he's not even fit to be mayor of Buffoontown.
ROOMS FOR RENT III (Part 39)
TREEHOUSE FOR RENT with wonderful, unavoidable views of my bedroom window, where I prance around fully nude. Ideal tenant is beautiful woman attracted to plus-sized men. $250/month. 555-7262
AGGREGATION OF DOGS (Part 38)
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Reviews: Occupied Fountain (Part 14)
Tensions are mounting as Shaggy Butte's thirstiest gulpers have been hung out to dry. The Rug Emporium, home of the town's most popular fountain, has been taken over by foreign invaders.
LOADS OF DOGS (Part 37)
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
How "Video Games" Are Made
Video games like Car Chess, Bear Escape Arena, Just Us Hogs, Get Back Here 2, Travel Agency and Yelling! are all the rage these days, thanks to amazing graphics and irresistible action. But did you know that their existence is no mere accident? Every game is actually created by skilled professionals in a laboratory setting.
GLUT OF DOGS (Part 36)
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
SEA OF DOGS (Part 35)
EXCITING PUP-ORTUNITY – we have puppies galore, all needing homes. They just keep spilling out, with no end in sight. Hundreds to choose from, in all manner of repair. Claim yours! 555-2915
TV Schedule: Rumpus Men Father's Day Marathon
11:30AM - Rumpus Men Kevin and Jeremy prove anything is possible when they turn a cemetery into a beautiful rumpus room just in time for a wedding.
BEVY of DOGS (Part 34)
BACK FROM THE GRAVE – We've been trying to bury our dog ever since it ate all of grandma's ashes. Now it's back, and barks and growls just like grandma did. Please buy this dog and kill it for good. $250 555-2515
Spout.ly: May's Sour Sips (Part 13)
May has been a trying month for Shaggy Butte's resident fountain fanatics. Drought restrictions have resulted in many popular fountains running dry, and penny-pinching businesses have cut back on fountain upkeep. In the end, many once-promising bubblers are now serving up some truly sour sips.
SkyMall Product Reviews: Raffles Faux Leather Throne (Part 48)
This is your typical consumer model throne. If you just want a cheap prop, it's fine. If you want to actually sit like a king, pony up the cash and get yourself a prosumer model. This entry level stuff is more for a duke or baron at best.
TONS OF DOGS (Part 33)
SLED DOG TEAM plucked from the arctic. These experienced and tireless dogs pull me around town in a shopping cart, which is apparently illegal. Trading entire bundle for a gently used van. 555-1924
Now, Treasured Customer, an Urgent Dispatch from R. J. Heckwolf (Part 28)
Here is what I stand before you to declare: I am disgusted beyond all measure by the growing abundance of small dogs in the world. This vile plague has been spreading from Europe and the Orient with increasing potency.
Memos from Bear Cave: Daddy's Home (Part 21)
That newspaper article is paying off big time. I just got off the horn with a man I've never met: my father. He recognized my photo in the paper and wants to come here and meet me. I want every last one of you working twice as hard cleaning this place up. My dad is coming tomorrow, and I want Bear Cave Soup to look like a million bucks.
The Five People You Will Meet in Cyberspace
For all the attention and buzz virtual reality is getting right now, you would think it something entirely new. The truth is it's been around for decades. Only now is the technology catching up with the dream.
FLOCK OF DOGS (Part 32)
RETIRED HAMHOUND – German bred and trained, skilled at tracking lost or stolen hams, cooked, frozen or in between. Has saved many holiday meals and aided police in countless cases. Gentle, friendly, healthy and professional. Comes with many civic awards. 555-9285
SkyMall Product Reviews: Parisian Poodle Serving Table (Part 47)
It was love at first sight when I first glimpsed the Parisian Poodle Serving Table, which seemed the perfect complement to my home. Unfortunately, that very same home was taken from me when the tunnels I was digging underneath collapsed, causing the entire structure to be condemned.
DROVES OF DOGS (Part 31)
COLORFUL TUBED DOG - Our morbidly obese bulldog Windsor got stuck in one of those colorful obstacle course tubes. It's already grafted to her skin. Tube is about 10 feet long and neon orange. Put food in front end of tube, shake out other end over dumpster. 555-3318
