American Pie Presents The Book of Love
Sean "bad movie knight" Hanson finally goes off the deep end while the other Eights go on vacation.
Avatar; Santa Claus; The Santa Clause Trilogy
Avatar: The most expensive Spore game ever played? Also, Santa Claus and The Santa Clause 1-3 get righteous drubbings.
An Awful Decade at the Movies
Comedies, dramas, action flicks and horror yarns all sucked in a decade that, like all decades before, was primarily concerned with the guilt and suffering of white people.
Armored; Everybody's Fine
Matt "the" Gronke needs drugs to review Armored, and Robert "Macrame_God" Seeders needs therapy after Everybody's Fine. They'll make quite a pair in Narc-Anon.
Ninja Assassin; Old Dogs
Kevin Nealon's smiling face was the best thing we saw this week, as both Ninja Assassin and Old Dogs proved to be utter pieces of shit.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Robert "Macrame_God" Seeders tears New Moon a new asshole.
2012; Fantastic Mr. Fox; Precious; A Serious Man
2012 may suck (both as a year and a movie), but Precious, Fantastic Mr. Fox and A Serious Man prove the best movies stay in limited release.
A Christmas Carol; The Men Who Stare at Goats
A Christmas Carol is pretty cool, The Men Who Stare at Goats is pretty wack and we present two Movies That Don't Suck.
This Is It; The House of the Devil; Ong Bak 2
This Is It is a fitting send-off, The House of the Devil is a diamond in the rough, Ong Bak 2 is a miserable failure and...Halloween Movies That Don't Suck!
Amelia; I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell; Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant; Saw VI; Astro Boy
Amelia sucks, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell sucks, The Vampire's Assistant sucks (get it?), Saw VI's OK and Astro Boy's slightly better than OK. Also, Movies That Don't Suck.
Where the Wild Things Are; Paranormal Activity; The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus; Law Abiding Citizen
The Crazy Eights fall in love with Where the Wild Things Are, Paranormal Activity AND The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus -- a bit generous, aren't we? Meanwhile, Law Abiding Citizen gets panned, we review this week's DVDs and inform you of Movies That Don't Suck. Phew.
Couples Retreat; The Damned United; St. Trinian's; Fame
The Crazy Eights catch up on Fame, tear St. Trinian's a new one (the whole student body!) and praise the hell out of The Damned United. Also, Movies That Don't Suck and Awful DVDs.
Capitalism: A Love Story; Zombieland; The Invention of Lying; Toy Story 3-D; Surrogates
The Crazy Eights adopt a new format, Expectations vs. Reality, as they review Capitalism: A Love Story, Zombieland, The Invention of Lying, Toy Story 3-D Double Feature, Trick 'r Treat, Surrogates and a slew of DVDs!
An Awful Season at the Movies
This autumn, Drew Barrymore plays a teenager, Michael Jackson plays dead and Michael Moore plays a documentarian!
Jennifer's Body; The Informant!; Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
Also reviewed: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, The Informant! and a handful of theatrical and DVD releases.
Gamer; Extract
Gamer comes up short, Extract comes up shorter and every other movie at your multiplex is boring.
The Final Destination
Goons trash The Final Destination and round up this week's DVD/Blu-Ray releases.
Inglourious Basterds
It's shiny, it's new: Current reviews from the crack guest critics in Cinema Discusso. This week, NewtonFig and Data Core Devil review Tarantino's latest film, which he calls his "masterpiece." But is it that good, or is it just more hyperbole from the crown king of movie geeks?